Sick of Love Songs (Sean&Kaycee) FINISHED

The all or nothing

Hi! Here it is, the beloved chapter I actually got death threats (!!!!!) over. 

I hope it's worth it and that you enjoy, even if it is ultra short again. (The last one was over 5000 words, though!!!!)

Sean's P.O.V

The present

"It's Devon," Julian said just as I snapped out of my strangling daydream to take the ringing phone from him with shaking fingers. Devon wasn't there, maybe he'll know what's going on.

"Hello?" I answered, sounding as if someone had me in a chokehold, ready to strip me of my last breath. Depending on what he'd say, the possibility of it happening anyway was high.

"Sean?" came the sweetest voice from the other side of the planet.

"Kayc?" I breathed, thanking every god and mystical creature I knew in my mind, forcing myself to accept that it really was her voice. I would've recognised it in a crowd of millions after only one word, yet somehow hearing her through the speaker seemed impossible after seeing what was left of their house and my friends must've shared the same thought because after initial disbelief, their faces relaxed and both of them collapsed onto the soft dark grey sofa a few feet from me. "Angel?" I repeated, needing to hear her again, just to be sure.

"It's me. I'm okay. Everyone is okay," she said quietly, her voice unsure as if she wasn't sure she should've called me. Stupid, silly girl. "We're at Devon's place now and our house is a wreck, but I think all of the neighbours got out in time, too. Only the houses at the end of the street had people in them."

The logical part of me knew I should've been paying attention to what she was saying, but all I could do was let her voice carry oxygen back into my lungs, every syllable comforting and reassuring as she kept talking about everyone else. Always about everyone else.

"Are you hurt?" I interrupted her as she explained how the local news covered every person found and still alive. I should've cared more than I did, I knew that, but I just wanted to hold her and hold my family and see everyone with my two damn eyes. Instead, I was once again stuck in a hotel room miles away. I'll never fucking travel again, I promised whatever higher power deemed me worth of listening to.

"No, just breathed in a lot of dust like everyone else, but nothing too serious," then she hesitated long enough for me to gulp some air into my lungs and puff it back out as she continued with "Are you okay? I mean, I know you're not at home and I was just wondering if everyone else was okay and if you were okay and now I'm just being stupid and-" I cut her off, sensing the downward spiral from a mile away.

"They're okay. We're okay. You," I said on a heavy breath, "are okay."

Then, while my mind was running wild with words needing to fly out of my mouth on the off chance she'd just called to say she was okay and then hang up, I couldn't utter a single word. There are these moments in everyone's life where words just don't seem like they're nearly enough to voice the all-consuming relief, fear and uncertainty. You'll be fine whatever she says or does now that you know she's alright, I told myself, realizing how true that was. And boy did it make me a confusing mix of exhilarated and miserable.

Seconds trickled by as we both just breathed down the line, neither of us upset enough at that point to keep blabbering as if nothing had changed, both of us still too upset to talk about anything else.

"I'm s-," she said just as I began with "Kayc, li-," both of us laughing quietly.

"I'm sorry, Sean," she whispered, the amusement disappearing in a single breath.