Autumn Leaves and Teenage Dreams

40. Everlasting Heat

"Come on, Fry," I say. My golden retriever bounds along beside me during our early morning walk around the neighborhood. I don't have work today, but I have to take Fry out for walks early in the morning before the heat bothers him and his thick-furred coat.

I don't mind these summer mornings. The day is bright, the sprinklers are running, and a good number of folks are out for a morning walk or jog. The flowers are in bloom, the children bike down the street, and everyone seems to be in a good mood. Fry himself is bounding happily along beside me, looking back at me every once in a while to make sure I'm in as good as a mood as he is.

I take him the same route every day, one that often passes by Aurora's house. I hold my breath every time we pass by her quaint little house, and oftentimes I wonder why I even walk toward that area. Aurora is graduated, and she no longer has any ties to me. In about a month, I'm sure her room will be empty. But sometimes, I can see the cats in the window, or I see a new flower pot out on her porch, and just knowing that her life is continuing makes me feel a bit more content.

As I pass by the house today, it is quiet, like always. It's a week day, which means her parents are at work, and knowing Aurora, she probably has a job of her own. There are no cats in the window, but the wind chimes flow slightly, and the sprinklers run on her lawn. The moment is peaceful until Fry spots a squirrel and I'm pulled away from the home that I have not stepped into for months.

I'm already dripping with sweat when I arrive home, and the first thing Fry and I do is rehydrate ourselves. My siblings are already up, Oliver watching T.V. and Olivia preparing to go to the movies with her friends later today. I will be driving her, of course, with both my parents working since I have the day off.

Though the days off are appreciated, they never equate to much fun. Sometimes I go out with my friends, but mostly, I try to find ways to occupy myself. I learn to paint my fingernails different designs or I head to the library to find some more books to read. I've even considered learning to garden, just so I can put some plants out on the porch too. It's silly, but maybe I think Aurora will walk by my house and see those flowers too, knowing my life is continuing as well.

Olivia wears a full face of make-up as I drive her to the local movie theater. She seems to be having the summer of her life, going to the movies and mall as often as she pleases, though her money is running out, and with no job, I'm sure her excursions will be infrequent and a bit more cheap as the days merge into August.

"Hey, guess what?" Olivia asks.

"What?" I ask.

"Molly's sister's friend is a lesbian, so maybe you could hit her up if you want to get over this Aurora thing," Olivia tells me.

The gesture is sweet, at least coming from her, but all I do is snicker some.

"Well, I'll keep that in mind, I guess," I say, even though I have no idea who Molly's sister's friend is.

It wasn't long after I told Abigail that I let Olivia and Oliver know what had happened. They had been pressing me for details for months, and I had kept the whole ordeal secret to not let them down. In the meantime, they've been alerting me to every sapphic individual they know, even though I know I'm not yet in the mood to start dating someone else.

Surprisingly, the household has been calm and more accepting this summer. Our family took a trip to the lake a week back. I was able to openly talk about and joke about being gay in front of my family. My mother even laughed at a joke, even though she'd surely cry a few months before. She even asked me if she thought any girls at the beach were cute. I was too flustered to answer. I never thought I would be able to talk to her about something like that.