lost ⇢ muke

michael

When I woke up, I was met with the face of a nurse and I frowned.

Why did I wake up?

"Hi Michael." she spoke with a soft voice and I just sat up. My throat hurt too much for me to talk.

"How are you feeling?" she asks and I just shrug. I really fucking wish I didn't wake up.

Not because I was that desperate to die, I mean I was but now I have to go through therapy and stuff.

I know that because this isn't my first attempt.

The first time wasn't that serious since I really didn't know what I was doing. I knew I wasn't going to succeed.

I thought this time would be different.

"Wheres.." I licked my lips and furrowed my eyebrows. She handed me a little plastic cup containing water. I just forced a small smile and took a sip. "Wheres my grandma?" I finish.

"In the waiting room. Would you like to see her?" she asks and I nod.

I wasn't quite ready to face the questions I know would come.

"Michael, baby.." I heard my grandma's voice and tears filled my eyes. "I'm sorry," we both said at the same time.

Then I started crying.

"Don't send me away, I can't live with him." I sob and she she wraps her arms around me.

"It's okay, shhh.." she tried to calm me down but there was no use.

My throat hurt so bad, which only caused me to cry harder, which made it hurt more.

She pulled a chair up right beside my bed and held my hand in hers.

"You know I love you, Michael. You do know that, right?" she asks and I nod, wiping my cheeks.

"Try and not talk right now." she says and kisses my forehead. I closed my eyes for the second that I felt her lips on my forehead.

"I want to see him." I say and she looked at me, confused.

"Who?"

"Luke."

****

I doubted Luke would agree to coming here. He doesn't care about me, and I don't care about him. 

I don't even know why I want him to come.

He's the reason I'm in here. Not the entire reason, but a big part of it.

I looked away from the tv when I heard a knock on the door, watching it slowly open.

It was Luke.

"Hey," he says and leaves the door open a crack.

I only offered a small wave and his curious blue eyes scanned the room before looking straight at my neck.

"How are you?" he asks as he sits where my grandma was moments before.

"I'm fine." I say and he looks down at his hands. "Why did you come?"

He looked up at me, confused. "Your grandma said you wanted to see me..." he says, trailing off. "Why do you want to see me?"

I shrugged and he looked at the tv.

"Is it my fault?" he asks, looking back down at his hands that were rested in his lap.

I nodded and then realized he wasn't looking at me.

"Yeah.. Partially."