That Girl Changed Me (GirlxGirl)

Chapter 10

'tis short... but here ya go

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Perfection.

Is there any other word that could really describe how this felt?

At that moment nothing was wrong with the world. It was only me and her, her lips against mine. Bringing my body closer to hers, I weaved one hand through her soft lavender-vanilla scented hair while my other hand gently gripped her waist. I kissed her bottom lip, savoring her flavor while warm happy desire ran through my veins. The kiss was sweet and perfect.

The feeling was ended abruptly when Talie jerked away unexpectedly. The harsh weight of reality crashed down on me with a terrifying force, knocking the breath out of me.

We just kissed! Oh dear god we just kissed... and she pulled away. Hurt washed over me as I hunched my shoulders, hugging myself and trying to keep it together.

She pulled away. She rejected me.

But didn't she initiate the kiss?

Maybe it was just in the heat of the moment, a brief curiosity that was fueled by the knowledge that if she WERE curious, she could use me to explore her feelings.

A part of me knew that Natalie wasn't like that, but I refused to listen to myself.

Is someone calling my name?

I felt a hand touch my shoulder. Yanking away from the touch, I stood up while avoiding looking at her. I can't do this, I can't have this conversation with her. With my mind in a haze of panic and confusion, I did what I do best; I ran away as fast as I could. Away from the confusion, away from the fear.

 *  *  *

One bus ride later, I numbly climbed the stairs to my apartment. Gratefully, I saw that my mom wasn't home. Sliding into my room, I laid down on my bed and squeezed my eyes shut. I didn't bother removing my shoes.

I had already begun to come back to my senses a bit, and I regreted leaving like that. I know I should have talked to Talie instead of running away from the situation, but what can I say? I'm a coward, born and raised. 

The way I see it, there's two main possibilities now. One, Talie is horrified that she kissed me and either wants to pretend it never happened or doesn't want to ever see me again. Or two, she actually has feelings for me.

The first possibility hurts for obvious reasons. The second is too terrifying to even contemplate.

I'm not good enough for someone like Talie. She's like an angel, and I'm like... a mug of burnt coffee or something. I don't want to drag her into my problems, my life, my troubles. It would be wrong of me, and if there was a hell I'd surely go there for ruining her. People like me weren't meant to be with people like her.

People like me aren't meant to be happy.

I flinched at the absolutely true thought.

As much as I want to be selfish, I don't know if I could be with her even if she DOES like me.

A frantic knocking snapped me out of my thoughts. It can't be my mom, she has a key, and knows about the spare taped under the fire alarm. I got out of my bed curiously, and opened the front door.

An angry looking Mikey was standing at my door, his small hands balled into fists and propped on his hips like a frustrated mother.

“TOLA, you idiot! YOU DON'T JUST LEAVE SOMEONE AFTER YOU KISS THEM!” he shouted, stomping into my house without an invitation. I just stared at him with my mouth open.

Quickly getting over my shock, I closed the door behind him. How did he even know where I live?

“I wrestled your address out of Talie.” he said, answering the unspoken question. Glancing around my small apartment, he found my room and walked over to it, situating himself on my bed.

“Sure Mikey, come right in, it's no bother,” I grumbled sarcastically, “My room is right over here by the way, please, make your self at home.” I added under my breath, rolling my eyes. He just grinned and stuck his tongue out at me.

I sighed and joined him, sitting on the edge of my bed while he sat in the middle with his legs crossed.

He glared at me. “Do you realize how flustered you left Natalie, Tola?” he demanded. I remained silent, fiddling with a stray string on my blanket.

“I understand that you're scared, but you're not going to get anywhere by running away from things. She obviously has feelings for you. You guys seriously just need to have an honest conversation about eachother's feelings.” he said seriously. I glanced up at him uncertainly. Should I be truthful with him about my fears? You're suposed to be honest with friends, right? 

“I don't know, Mikey... I guess I'm just kind of scared. Um... you could say I have... abandonment issues, sorta. Even if Talie shares my feelings and becomes my girlfriend, I don't know how I'd cope with it if she ever left me.” I admitted quietly.

Mikey scooted closer to me and placed a reassuring hand over my own hand. “It might be scary, but you can't spend your whole life hiding from people. I doubt she'd ever leave you high and dry for no reason, and even if she did, I think all the good times you'll have together would make up for the potential hurt. It's just part of living, Tola. You have to take chances, or else you'll miss out on the good parts of life.” he said with a sympathetic smile. I sighed and nodded slowly. Who knew adorable little Mikey was so wise?

“I'll talk to her tomorrow, okay?” I reasoned. He nodded and got off my bed.

“You look like you need some time to yourself. I'll leave now, but you HAVE to talk to her, okay?” he asked sternly. I nodded once more.

“Oh and Mikey? Thanks for talking to me. I really needed it.” I said gratefully with a weak smile. He smiled kindly in response and left.