Did you know? (Inspirational Islamic Stories)

Kindness to parents

“Worship God and join none with Him (in worship); and do good to parents…” (Quran 4:36)

One of Prophet Muhammad’s companions asked about the deeds God loved most.  The Prophet replied, the prayer offered on time and honouring parents...  (Saheeh Bukhari)

God continues this verse by reminding us that parents are deserving of kindness because they raised their children with gentleness and often made great sacrifices for their wellbeing.  His use of the word wing invokes the image of a mother bird tenderly shielding her young and calls to mind the gentleness that parents have for their children.

“And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: ‘My Lord!  Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small.’” (Quran 17:24)

Prophet Muhammad saws reinforced the duty to be kind to parents.  A companion of the Prophet once asked him which of the many good deeds a man can do is the most loved by God.  Prophet Muhammad answered him by saying,

“To offer the prayer in its proper time”.  The companion then asked, “And what is next?” to which Prophet Muhammad replied, “To be good and dutiful to your parents…”[1].  The responsibility to be kind and good to parents comes right after the greatest duty in Islam, the prayer.

The love and mercy that emanates from the Most Merciful God is manifest in the kind treatment existing between parents and their children.  God clearly prohibits the bad treatment of parents, and in another verse of the Quran He enjoins on us the need to show gratitude to Him, our Creator, as well as our parents.  Again, God clearly links the rights owed to Him to the rights owed to parents.

“And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents.  His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination.”  (Quran 31:14)

Abdullah ibn Omar, a leading scholar from among Prophet Muhammad’s companions once saw a man carrying his mother on his back and going around the Holy House in Mecca[2].  He did not complain or show any signs of annoyance; rather he kept repeating a line of poetry comparing himself to a camel. 

He looked at Abdullah ibn Omar and asked him whether by so doing he discharged his debt to his mother.  Ibn Omar said,

“No.  You have not even paid back one twinge of the pain she felt when giving birth to you”.

Another companion from the early days of Islam, Dhibyan ibn Ali ath-Thowree also used to travel with his mother to Mecca.  The journey was long and very hot; on the side of the road during their travels, he would dig a little pool and fill it with cool water.  He would then turn to his mother and say, “Mother, sit in this water to cool yourself.”

Muslims who are obedient to God can never be unmindful or unkind to their parents.  Great reward is offered to those who treat their parents, especially their mothers, with affection and gentleness, but a stern warning is also given.  The danger of disrespect is illustrated in the following saying of Prophet Muhammad.

A man came to Prophet Muhammad and said, “A young man is dying and people are asking him to say there is no god but God, but he is unable to do so.  “The Prophet then asked, "Did this man offer prayers?”  The answer was yes. 

The Prophet then went to see the man and tried to encourage him to say there is no god but God.  Still he was unable to pronounce the words.  Prophet Muhammad then called for the dying man’s mother.  The mother he had persistently disobeyed.

When she appeared, the Prophet asked, 'Respected lady, is he your son?”  She replied yes.  He then asked, “O respected lady, if we threaten to throw your son into a raging fire, would you recommend him to be forgiven?” 

The lady replied that she would definitely ask him to be forgiven.  The Prophet then said to her, “Then declare, making God and me your witnesses, that you are now pleased with him.”  The old woman readily declared, "O God, you and your Prophet are my witnesses that I am pleased with this beloved son of mine.” 

Then Prophet then turned to the dying man and asked him to recite, "There is no god but God, He is the One and has no partners and I witness that Muhammad is His Servant and Messenger.”  (At Tabarani, Ahmad)

Because of his mother’s forgiveness, the dying man was able to recite the words that, by the Grace and Mercy of God, may have allowed him to enter Paradise.  The good treatment of parents can be the key to Paradise, on the other hand, bad behaviour towards them may result in a punishment in hellfire.

In the narrations of Prophet Muhammad, we are able to observe the behaviour of Abdullah, the son of Omar ibn al Khattab. 
On the road to Mecca, Abdullah met a Bedouin.  He greeted him with peace, had him ride the mount that he was riding and gave him the turban that he had been wearing on his head.  One of Abdullah companions commented,

“May God guide you, they are just bedouin and they are content with something simple.” 
Abdullah answered,

“The father of this man was a close friend of my father, and I heard the Messenger of God say, “The best way of honouring one’s parents is for the son to keep in touch with his father’s friends.”

Islam recognises the importance of the family unit, and a good and loving relationship between parents and children is essential.  After God, our parents deserve our gratitude and obedience. 

A Muslim is obligated to show goodness and mercy to his or her parents.  There is only one exception to this, if parents expect their children to associate anything with God or to do something regarded impermissible in Islam, then the child must not obey, however nothing removes the obligation to be kind and respectful.

(Taken from Ayesha Stacey, Islam religion .com)