Karma And Regret

Chapter 22.

Last night was set in mist and cold. The morning dawn is filled with air crisp, which lead me to wake up before my alarm went off. Probably because I haven't gotten any sleep at all or I thought I did. I kept on thinking that my father would come back for me. The sunlight is trying to filter through the drapes but it is too weak, the whole room is quite dark but the glow from drapes made the room have a grey and brown tone to everything. I close my eyes once more trying to envision everything that happened yesterday as a dream. The memory of last night flooded my mind like a dam receiving rain. There was nothing physical about last night's attack, it was so much more her voice died, He is crushing my mother! Every ounce of self-esteem she has regained back! I turn head to face the black TV.

"Ouch!" These couch pillows are really hard I had my head snuggling down in them. I sit my hand on the back of my neck. They made my neck torpefy. My mother will know what to do.

Where is my mother? She should be up by now! I should be smelling bacons from the kitchen. Judging from the closed curtains she's probably sleeping I would too if I was her after all her trust did die in high glee. His promise clearly pacified her. I saw the response in her eyes that no longer will she hang on his words or surrender herself to his caress. She is a tiresome inmate sent back in the cage of rage it terrifies my heart but one thing I admire most about my mother is that she'd put away all her aches to assist someone else. She is one of the few women that can withstand the harshest realities and still create a home. She is very compassionate in her daily thoughts. She ignites the hottest flames that not even she could hold back, her determination has always burned brighter than her true fears. She's been a bold, courageous and bitter woman all at once but she held herself together and I respect that about her. I should go and check up on her.

I turn my bedroom door knob. I find her sleeping peacefully though I spark a frown in her face. He really does cause agony that can only be seen inside but I can see right through her. I'm very humble to have someone like this woman sleeping on my bed to have carried me for nine months I couldn't have asked for someone better other than her.

I fold the blanket so I can return it to where it belongs. I pass my father's door on in the hall, I fight the urge to not attach my ear on the door to check if he is sleeping or not when I return from the closet I can't help but to pin my ear against the white cold door.

I whisper "I can't hear anything."

Thoughts of him opening the door finding me at his feet oscillate in my mind but I rebuff them all.

"Dale?" He says from behind coming from the bathroom across the hall. My eyes go straight to the knob and it's unlocked! Meaning that I'm not hearing lousy things he is behind me. I've been caught.

"Uhm...yea..." I rub the back of my neck with my hand. I don't know what to say he doesn't too so I make things lenient for him by saying what a normal man would say to excuse himself politely "I should go. Mama doesn't like it when I don't abide by the bathing time schedule." His faces piles.

"Yes. Professional Rosa! Ha-ha!" He tries to make a joke but fails miserably.

"Speaking of Rosa! Where is she?" The tension is thick I can barely catch my breath I'm pretty sure the walls are ganging up on us.

"I should go" I shrug and do just that.

"Wait!" I stop dead. Don't look back! Don't look back! "Are you good?"

"Yea. Why wouldn't I be." I roll my eyes at the pathetic man. His phone rings

"Hey man." I wish I could hear who he's talking too.

"I told you I can't come in today." It is fittingly one of his employees.

"Get my ass up there?" Since when do employees command their boss? Who is he talking to?
I keep my bedroom door slightly open so I can hear exactly who he's talking too.

"I promise to deliver tomorrow morning..-" He closes his door and now I can't register anything he says.

I take a shower. I don't know how to feel after the small conversation I just had with my father. I can't pretend as if nothing happened! I feel like I've betrayed my mother by talking to him. She is laying there and I'm here talking to my father it is impossible to turn my back on him that easily, you just can't blink away someone who gave me a gift to believe in myself even in the harshest lifetime. My heart fills with pride when I think of him, pride that only he delivered to me.

I'm still trying to process what happened yesterday. Bad surroundings leverages off of you in a sec. Why is it so hard to forgive the person who taught you how to forgive? I have to finish quick or I'll be stuck in this misery of thoughts.

I have to see a pretty face that showcase a light that stands interrupted even in the daylight. Yes that is what I need. I nod.

I finish up cleansing myself. I think I brought everything I need to wear in here. I can't afford to go back to my room while my mother is still sleeping. I throw my shirt above my head, next thing should be my boxers. My boxers? I spread the pile of clothes on the toilet seat but I can't find it. I must have accidentally misplaced it somewhere when I was gathering the rest of my clothes. I can't go back. A towel? My eyes search the room the isn't a towel in here. I have no other choice than to do the one thing I hate doing right now.

"Dad!!!!" I sigh.

"Yea?"

"I need some fresh boxer. Could you get them for me?" I won't say please. "They are in my dresser." I explain even though I don't have to.

"Why don't you just go and put them on yourself" I roll my eyes.

"Mama is sleeping in my room."

"Your mother is here?"

"Duh! Are you going to fetch them for me or not?" Where else would she be?

"Hold on." He later returns holding out the ones I hate. They are plain blue and are decorated in red dots standing in as a representative of flowers. Why did my mother buy me these? I hold them up and I cringe inwardly. I have to get out of this place.

I instantly pass by my door.

"Honey I am so so sorry." He is in my room.

I don't have time for this at least not right now.