Wicked Seduction

30 Symphony of silence

Song for the mood: Bitter Sweet Symphony by The Verve. Here's a snippet of the lyrics:

Cause it's a bittersweet symphony this life
Trying to make ends meet, you're a slave to the money then you die.
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down.

***

Vera

Monday evening, May 1

My phone buzzed with a message from Alistair.

> V, call me. A.

"Hey, sexy. How are you?"

"Ah, I needed to hear your voice. You must be excited about the news."

"Ah, yeah, can you believe I'm going to be an aunt?" I boasted, grinning from ear to ear. "Saph and Jules are having a baby in December and I'm super excited. I can't wait to meet my niece or nephew!"

The phone line seemed to have dropped out after a few seconds of silence.

"Alistair, are you still there?"

"Yes, I'm still here."

"What's going on?"

"I'm feeling a little down, that's all."

"Why's that?"

"Oliver and I used to be close as kids. These days we barely talk-"

"Which is understandable," I jumped in without thinking. "Oh, shit. I'm sorry, honey."

"No, that's fine. I deserve the punches. I tell you who I don't deserve. I don't deserve you."

I thought that Alistair would end it with me after a long, pregnant pause, but he continued to speak. "My daughter's name is Camilla. She weighed a little over six pounds when she was born before Christmas, and she's an angel."

"How are you feeling about your daughter?"

"It's a bittersweet feeling. I'm happy for Oliver and Erin, but I'm going through a mix of guilt and sadness about the circumstances."

I hung onto the phone, listening to the drawn-out silence, then reached out to him again. "Do you need me?"

"I need you."

"Scotty, listen to me. That child may or may not learn the truth about you being her father," I said, squinting while pinching the bridge of my nose.

"However, she will grow up being loved by a man who now has the chance to be a father," I continued. "It's a gift that you've given to your family. Think of it that way. Think of the positive, and stop focusing on the negative, or it will eat you up. Do you hear me?"

"I know."

"I know you. Your guilt will consume you if you don't let go and move on."

"Yeah."

"Scotty, are you fidgeting?" I asked.

His low laugh rumbled on the other end of the phone. "Can you read minds, sweetheart?"

"As good as it gets. I'm the goddess of badass fuckery, remember?"

"You are, indeed." Alistair chuckled, then paused.

"You're going to be fine. Focus on your work trip to Houston tomorrow. Think of all the opportunities that are coming your way."

"Yeah, I've been up since five a.m., first on the phone with Australia, then with Dubai, and finally with London this evening. I'm overseeing a collaborative project, which should bring change to the management team in one of my firms."