She's the Girl | A Marauders Love story

Chapter 54

Grief

Regulus Arcturus Black passed away on November 26th, 1978, two days before Thanksgiving, and on the same day Hailey took her Healer's exam. She came home, feeling relieved that she was done with her exam, to find Lily sitting on the couch, holding a letter. At first, Hailey didn't notice anything wrong, until she saw the tears running down Lily's face, and that the letter was from Walburga Black.

"What did Walburga have to say to you?" She asked, sitting next to Lily, who handed her the letter. Hailey scanned it quickly, and felt her heart drop.

"Regulus." She said quietly. He was only seventeen. How did he even leave the school? Sirius was going to be heartbroken.

Sirius.

"Lily, can you come somewhere with me? I need to visit Sirius."

Lily nodded numbly. Hailey took her hand and disapparated to Sirius's flat and knocked on the door.

"Sirius? Are you in there?" She called. When she didn't hear a response, she unlocked the door with her wand and kicked it open. There were a few empty bottles of firewhiskey on the counter, and Hailey could hear something coming from the bedroom. She led Lily to the couch and sat her down before going to the bedroom and knocking on the door. She heard the clink of a bottle and Sirius saying something, but it was so slurred, she couldn't understand it. She opened the door and looked down at Sirius. She was eerily reminded of when James locked himself in the guest bedroom, except this time, there was a lot more alcohol.

"Sirius, what are you doing to yourself?" She demanded, taking the bottle from him. He tried to protest, but she glared at him. "I get that you're mourning, I get that you cope with pain differently, but this is disgusting. You're hurting yourself."

Sirius glared at her.

"My brother died! He's gone forever, and I never said goodbye. I was so terrible to him for years. He didn't deserve that, he deserved a brother that loved him. I just left him when he needed me! I was so selfish. He deserved better."

"Sirius, he knew you loved him. You two had your problems, but I know he cared about you and understood why you left. You need to pull yourself together. People need you."

Sirius hiccuped.

"No one needs me. I'll be fine."

"Remus needs you, James needs you, I need you, Sirius. We all care about you. None of us want you to fall apart like this. And you're not the only one that's upset. Lily is still in shock, but when she comes to accept it, you'll need each other."

Sirius looked up.

"Lily knows? How is she?"

"Well, she's on your couch right now, why don't you go and talk to her?"

Sirius nodded and stood up, swaying for a second until Hailey supported him. They made their way to the living room where Lily was still sitting, silent tears running down her face.

"Hey Lily." Sirius said quietly. Lily looked up. When their eyes met, she let out a sob.

"He used to look at me like that when I was sad. He wasn't usually drunk, but he looked just like that."

A tear fell from Sirius's face and he sat down on the couch. Hailey checked the clock. 4:15. James should be home. She grabbed the phone and called their number. When James picked up, she almost cried with relief.

"James, thank Merlin. Something terrible's happened, and I have a sobbing Lily and a drunk Sirius at Sirius's place. I could really use some help."

There was a pause.

"It's Regulus, isn't it?"

Hailey gulped. It felt strange to accept that Regulus had died.

"Yeah. Please come quickly."

She hung up the phone and returned to Sirius and Lily, who were in very different states. Sirius looked incredibly close to passing out, and Lily was sobbing her eyes out. She had a box of tissues that Hailey assumed Sirius had gotten for her, and her makeup was running. Hailey got Sirius a cup of water and grabbed a cloth from the kitchen for Lily. She handed Sirius the water, insisting that he drink it, and wiped some of Lily's makeup off.

"It's going to be okay. I know Regulus didn't want to leave you guys. He loved you both, and wouldn't have wanted you to throw your lives away because of him."

Sirius sniffled. There was a knock on the door, and James and Remus walked in. Remus came over and sat next to Sirius, running his hands through Sirius's hair and whispering something Hailey couldn't hear, while James went to make everybody tea.

Lily leaned against Hailey's shoulder, and Hailey could feel her drifting off to sleep, tears still running down her face. Sirius was muttering about how it was all his fault, while Remus tried to comfort him.

"It should have been me. I'm the oldest, they would have wanted me if I wasn't so stubborn and stupid. If I hadn't refused my parents when they offered last year, he would still be alive."

"Sirius, what did your parents offer?" Remus asked. Sirius shrugged.

"They asked me to join you-know-who, be a spy at Hogwarts, said they would forgive me if I proved myself worthy. I obviously told them no, but maybe if I had accepted, Regulus would have lived."

"Sirius, you can't go thinking that. Even if you had joined them, which would have ruined your life, Regulus had been trained for that job for years, he was specially chosen out of a bunch of other people, he told Lily. And I doubt they really thought you would choose them. They most likely just wanted to mess with your head."

Sirius shrugged, his eyes red.

"We can always dream, can't we?"

Hailey sighed, looking down at Lily, who was sleeping peacefully on her lap, mascara dried on her cheeks.

"We're going to get through this. It won't be the last time we lose someone we love. This is just the start."

"Sorry, by the way. We kind of ruined it, didn't we?" Sirius asked. Hailey looked at him.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, James was going to propose tonight. I suppose plans might be rearranged now. The timing doesn't seem quite right now." He said casually. Hailey felt like she had been slapped in the face.

She had almost gotten engaged.