Opened Heart

Chapter 8-Fights.. and Ashley

Chapter 8

The whole drive home was really quiet and kinda annoying, you know, someone who doesn't stop looking at you is really annoying. It's like James think that I was going to brake his car's window then jump outside!!! So, he looks at me like every 3 seconds.

While I just stared at the window all the time but I can't help it, he was glancing at me like crazy!!! So I just turned my head to face him and glared at him for a good 2 seconds not trusting my voice yet to talk. Cause for the whole ride except the annoying-glancing-every-three-seconds of James. I was really thinking on how stupid and broken I was and still am it's already been years. He was the only one who knew exactly how I felt, all my secrets that I didn't tell mom, my fears, he knew exactly what I was thinking, finishes my sentences and stuff that I wouldn't have with other people. I thought what we truly have back then was love but that appears to be the biggest wrong thought in my mind. I still remember on how he broke up with me, and I knew it wasn't him at all. Wanna know where he broke up with me?!? At a freaking phone not even a call just a text!!! Not that even if he called me there will be a difference.6666 And why will you think that that person ever cared if he broke up with you on a phone...

Then, after 2 days has gotten over with the brake-up and has a new girlfriend??? Then, became a serious jerk, man- whore, even. That's just so messed up!!! We have been dating for like 3 years and he never even cared a single bit?!? And all that time he was even cheating on me with none other than Melanie, the evil mistress. And that information came from Abby, she never wanted me to know, but being the nice friend she is, she told me and it hurt me a lot! But even though Abby didn't tell me that fast I knew something was up. Plus, he even told me in a text I can still remember that text and when I delete messages I never deleted it... I was looking for something that kinda meant that it was for my own good or something like that, something that showed me that he still cares. I took out my phone and looked at the message again... I kinda memorized this already cause every night I read it before even going to bed...

Hey! Pumpkin!!!

These past few days hasn't really been working out for me. So I think it's best that we both give each other a time out.

I thought that it was just like for a few days, even though he was with Melanie I believed he will 'come to his senses' like Abby had said. When it became weeks I was losing hope already them it became months and hope was fast in going down the drain and he plunged it further down leaving it to not escape. And that broke up my heart into shreds even though it already was broken, he still stomped his foot on the broken pieces to make it even more broken when Abby told me he was cheating on me.

So, in conclusion my hope was gone and even though I don't wanna admit it, I am still in Love with him and it hurts when you love a person and they don't love you back. Like for example you are a fan of a celebrity and that always say 'I LOVE ALL OF MY FANS' then you realize that maybe he didn't mean it at all cause some stars just say those to give their fans importance even though that don't mean anything to them. Just like lying. Just like when their name isn't being mentioned in TV for a while they will make a scene just to me in it again and be the new 'talk' on the TV. I hurts too, if you love him in a different way and he doesn't even know you then... Ouch...

Okay, totally getting off topic here... Hey! That was exactly what I was aiming for!!!

Nice work, Taylor. Now James isn't the one who will remind you. Cause it's already yourself!

So, fortunately we were at our house already and which means I was only mere minutes away of running to my comforting bed and cry my eye balls out. Like I did every night for the past 4 years.

I opened the door not bothering to let James do it for me cause he was trying to be comforting awhile ago and maybe he will do just that so I just opened it on my own. It's not like I am disabled to do it, anyway. I ran to the front door, thankful that the porch light is still turned on. I really felt bad for doing that to James after he had tried to comfort me, suddenly I feel like a jerk, nah, I think this will cool off by tomorrow.