The Interview

JANUARY 1999 (10)

The show was a major success. The performance was around an 1 and 30 minutes long but it felt way shorter. Being up there with Alana was incredible, and from what I've heard from Paul, I'd be performing at venues for the next three days and I'd receive a heavy sum of pay.

It was kinda sprung onto me last moment but I'm not denying this time with her. Plus, I get a some tour money which is always nice. The royalties from My Name Is and Role Model haven't came in yet so I'm still broke as of now.

It doesn't matter though. I know even if my album doesn't do well critically, it will do well commercially. I'm expected to sale at least 210,000 copies in the first week. Even though it doesn't compare to most sales of rap stars, it's a good start from selling 70 copies to now this.

Alana came in the room, interrupting my thoughts. She was in just her black lacy bra and her sweatpants from a few hours ago when we were performing. We were in a hotel room right now and we have to share a room. I honestly don't know how that will work without me ripping off her clothes.

"Marsh, thanks for tonight. I know it may have been a bit awkward especially with Needing You. I was just really upset and I never meant people to understand that it was actually about you and I just needed to vent but I never wanted—" She was rambling so I stood up and placed my finger over her mouth.

"It's cool Alana. I'm not sweating it. You were hot out there y'know? And what you did onstage..." I grabbed her by waist and let my hands wonder a bit further down. She gasped but didn't stop me. She wants it too.

"It's not nice to do that in public when I can't do anything about it." I said, whispering into her ear. She turns around and brushes her ass against me again. One of my hand finds itself wrapped her torso and the other is now down her shirt. She was rubbing against my dick a lot now and it was getting harder by the second.

"Marsh..." It was a innocent nickname but right now it was everything but innocent. She craned her neck to look at me. I stared into her beautiful green eyes and subconsciously leaned in. Our lips mashed together and for a brief second, I felt this electric feeling in my heart. Oh my god this feels so right.

I push her to the wall and my hands explore over her body, groping every place I can. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me in. I kissed her neck and lightly sucked on it as I held a firm grip on her ass.

"Marsh... No. As much as we both may want this, you're with Kim. This is just wrong. I won't be the reason you two breakup. I'm sorry." She said, pushing me away and sitting down. Her breathes were labored and she was visibly turned on but if she said stop I will.

"Lana, I-" She cut me off before I could start explaining.

"I think it'll be best for us to be separate for a little. If you want to go home, you can. I'll say you got sick and I'll finish the rest of the shows without you. And I can send your check when everything is finished." She said, staring at me with her forest green eyes. She was serious. I like this bossy side of her.

I didn't think I needed to be around any longer so afterwards, I left. I packed up all my shit and got a ticket back to Detroit. It's been a few days since then and I've been holding my own venues and cyphers down at The Shelter.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss her. But I honestly don't regret anything. I got to kiss Alana Grey. That's something right there. She's beautiful. Honestly she's so beautiful.

Ever since the incident, the press has been in our ass about the grinding on stage thing. Some journalists were claiming that we were dating or something. Or secretly hooking up. And if she does the same thing she did last time, our little "hookup" won't be a secret anymore.

I've been just performing locally for the last few days and I've just been sleeping in my car when I'm done. Probably not the smartest thing to do in Detroit but it's not like I care.

Kim hasn't called me in the days I've been gone. Not even before the Alana stuff happened. I haven't told her about the kissing thing. I know I'll have to eventually but not now. Everything has been smooth between us and I can't mess everything up now.

Although I'm thinking about Kim, I really miss Hailie. And this traffic isn't fuckin helping. I need to get home to speak to Kim and hug my baby girl. I try to drive as fast as this damn traffic allows me and I end up getting home early.

Hailie's toys are usually littered across the yard but they weren't which means she's at Dawn's house. Kim knows damn well I don't trust Dawn with my fuckin baby.

I storm in the house and demand to know where my daughter is but that's when I see something that hurts my heart deeply. Kim is on top of some guy naked and is moaning his name on the coach that I fuckin' bought.

"Fuck! Marshall, I can explain..." She says but it falls deaf on my ears. The man underneath was putting on his boxers and before I even knew it, I was right there cocking my fist back to swing on him.

The punch connected to his jaw and he stumbled backwards and fell. I grabbed him by his shoulder and punched him again. "I'll kill you motherfucker!" I exclaimed angrily before punching the man again.

Kim managed to get me off of him. She stared at me with teary eyes and a look of guilt. I didn't even say anything before I left the house. I got in my car and headed to the studio in Ferndale.

This stupid little bitch. I can't believe I took her back. She did this shit in high school a lot too. I did it once then but it was just a fuckin kiss. She had another fuckin guy inside of her.

I quickly rush to the studio and storm in. Nobody's in there which made it better. I grabbed my pencil and notebook and started writing. I didn't know what to write but sentences were just forming without me even thinking about it.

A few tears drop from my eyes as I continue writing the song.

"So long/Bitch you did me so wrong/But I don't wanna go on/Living in this world without you."

I got up and searched for the old CD of beats that the Bass brothers gave me for The Slim Shady EP.  It was made specifically for the extended edition of 97' Bonnie & Clyde. It was a horror-like metal-ish beat. It captured all the rage and pain I had perfectly.

I went into the the booth and placed on my headphones. The instrumental started playing and I sang the chorus. It wasn't for an album extra or something to listen to. This was my therapy. My way to vent frustrations. My voice was overshadowed by the beat the first time when recording so I re-recorded it about seven different times so I could do it perfectly.

I was in the studio for about five hours just working on one verse. I could barely get through recording the verse without my voice cracking and me breaking down. I cheated on Kim but it never went past a kiss. She went too far with this. I thought everything was fuckin cool with us.

I don't care about the relationship anymore. I just want my custody of Hailie and I'll be done with Kim for good.

~~~

Marshall and Alana's first kiss may have seemed a bit rushed but it'll make a bit of sense in the new upcoming chapters. Also, I had Kim betray Marshall so he'd be able to write Kim. After reading up a bit, I found out that it was the first song he wrote for The Marshall Mathers LP. I know that Eminem and Kim weren't together when he wrote but I feel like it'd probably inspire him better to write it. Anyways, next chapter will probably the last in January and finally it'll be February which is the release of Marshall's album. Let's see what happens after Marshall releases his debut major label album. Anyways, I hoped you enjoyed this chapter. I'll update soon. Bye bye