𝗖𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗪𝗶𝘀𝗵┃𝗣.𝗝𝗺 ✘𝗝.𝗝𝗸 ✔︎

15 ; I Am So Afraid

Isolation. Isolating himself from the world was what Jungkook needed. Now you might think he is acting like a "Drama Queen", but It's far from that. The last two days, people has been blowing up his phones with all types of messages.

After everything, girls wanted to date him, boys wanted to date him. He got bullied and threatened for his "sexuality" and "crush" towards Jimin. At first, he was just beyond confused, but returning to college made everything a lot worse.

So, poor Jungkook definitely needed to isolate himself, but how will he do so without worrying his friends? He will, probably go missing without telling them.

Yet again, it's no use, they know where he lives and having guests in that small apartment of his isn't his thing.

After what it seemed like centuries to Jungkook, he managed to leave everything and the building withing being noticed by many. He rushed to his apartment, getting in and shutting the door behind him, once he arrived. He panted for a while and took a deep breath before locking himself in. He proceeded to close all the shutters and close the wifi, leaving him in complete silence and dim lighting.

He exhaled, plopping down on his couch "I will take it from the very start" he thought to himself and closed his eyes.

A new boy was in college, a new really attractive boy that is. A boy that made his heart flutter, a boy whose eyes are unforgettable. And that boy is named Park Jimin. They are friends, good friends, but his heart keeps fluttering, something keeps pulling him towards the older boy. At first he even thought he is being weird until Jimin displayed he felt the same.

Blushing cheeks, sweating palms, long stares, jealousy- everything was screaming that Jimin has a crush on Jungkook- probably if he may add.

This is not okay for the young boy, loving the same sex is out of the question. It is downright wrong and awful - or is it not? Love sees no age, no race, no religion, no sexuality.

Love is...blind.

Love is....happiness.

Happiness has no limits, so, love has no limits.

It can't be entirely wrong for them... To be in love right?

But it'd freak people out.

It'd freak Jimin out, maybe what Jungkook sees as signs are trivial habits of his hyung.

Yet, no hyung flirts with you in the middle of a performance.

In the end, from all the people of the world, he fell in love with a guy named Jimin, Park Jimin. Jungkook was finally in love and it was beautiful, it felt amazing. Although, no matter how blissful this feeling was, the threats ran around the boy's head. Students threatening to kill him, students threatening to make fun of him the worst way possible.

"I thought loving was not supposed to be judged" he thought out loud, opening his eyes. He grabbed his phone and went through his messeges. He blocked and deleted all the contacts and names that treared him awfully these past days. Even he just admitted to himself that he has a crush on Jimin, students were technically assuming things, they had no evidence.

Jungkook tossed his phone somewhere on the couch, sinking in his seat "I am not in love" he said and looked at his hands before looking at the ceiling. His mind was screaming he was not in love, but the heart was saying quit the opposite "I am not in love" he repeated and sighed deeply, closing his eyes again. What of he just searched in the internet signs of being in love? He stood up shortly after he got the idea, turning the wifi on. He grabbed his phone and started searching, going through every page claimin to "Convince him he is in love in 10 signs".

Everything was on point surprisingly, everything was applying to how he felt towards his older friend, making his heart sink into his stomach.

He can't be in a love. No. Not with him. Not with a guy.

He is in love though, why deny it?

The threats.

It's love.

Jimin is a guy.

He is also a human being that deserves to be lived, like everyone.

This is wrong.

Love has no right or wrong.

He closed his phone, heading to his room. Jungkook sat down on the bed, looking at his feet before looking at his reflection in the mirror, he was looking at himself, but it didn't seem like it. Someone else was starting to take control, something else was controlling him.

He cannot be in love...not with Jimin.

But that's what his brain kept saying, relentlessly. He was Jungkook, but not in the right mindset. Yet again, who needs their mind to love? The boy took a step forward, he examined himself. He was still the same, nothing changed. However, going through an emotional stage is weird. He can't believe it, he is not changing, not even his emotions. Though, no matter how much he tries, he cannot quite his heart Down, it was pounding in his chest, it was screaming Jimin's name. He wanted to feel free, he wanted to see what the "different him" was like.

Even running away won't seem to help him, he is in deep trouble.

He is in the mirror, that was not good, not at all. He must have gone crazy, feeling lonely must have finally hit him in the brain.

This is not like him, this is not normal!!!

Jungkook took another step forward, his eyes glued in the mirror as they started tearing up. His whole body was shaking, his head was hurting, and his chest felt heavier by the second. He breathed, again and again, but the weight could not go away. At this point he was panting--pointless, everything was pointless.

Fear. Jungkook couldn't feel anything else but fear. He felt afraid, of himself, on what he sees in the mirror. He felt afraid of the things and people around him.

"Why is it so confusing?!" he screamed and let the tears roll down his cheeks, breathing heavily as he cried.

"I don't even know you anymore" he yelled once more and cried harder, hugging himself softly. He was actually been through this again, but he was too young to actually remember, or actually something to make sense. One thing he remembers for sure, however, is that he lost himself again, or that's what his parents told him.

"You know you love him" the voice in his head said. Jungkook looked up in the mirror again, drying his tears"Who am I?" he asked homself  "Who are you?" he asked the voice in his head.

He had probably gone mad by now, talking to yourself is not probably quite normal. He got no response, of course. Even if he did get one, he would get "I am...you".

A smirk was plastered on his face by now, as he faced the mirror again "This is not..me, this is not me at all" he tried to rationalize with himself.

It was...in vain. He knew it, he knew it damn well. There is no running away from this anymore.

Jungkook is in love. He is not different, he is not changing, he is not crazy, he is just accepting.

Accepting the fact that he likes a guy.

Accepting his fate.