He can still feel the cold, clammy hands wrapping around his neck like an ugly necklace. He tries to scream, tries to grapple the hands closing in but they’re winding tighter. Tighter. Until he chokes on his breath.
Tighter. He feels his neck breaking, his lungs constricting, begging for air. He tries to gasp but no air is coming in. He is fading…...
Tighter. He is fading away. He kicks his feet with the last of strength he has but nothing happens. This is it; he thinks. I will die here.
He hears a cold, vicious voice in a whisper full of hatred, “You wanted this. You made me do this”.
Then everything just goes black.
____
Choi Beomgyu wakes up in a cold sweat, shivering and gasping for air, sitting up from his bed like he’s been electrocuted. His lungs are still set in panic mode as he calms himself down slowly.
He turns to his bedside table to look around and he sighs in relief when he confirms that he’s still alone. He is, but that only gives him some minor relief as his heart is still racing, his lungs still running out of air in panic. Inhale. Still here. Exhale. Still here.
He recites this mantra over and over again until he feels he’s steady enough to move around. He notes with disdain the LED clock on his bedside table that says 2:00 AM—which means he got only two hours of sleep tonight. He should be immune to it by then, what with almost six months of sleepless nights he experienced ever since that day. He shivers again as he tries to put back the memory away from his consciousness. It doesn’t matter; besides he manages to survive by taking little naps here and then……and before you know it, he already has eight hours of sleep.
He checks on his phone to see a text message waiting for him on KakaoTalk. It’s from Yeonjun.
>>Beomgyu-ah, I’ll pick you up at six tomorrow. We can go to the studio together.
Their small design company, Rylone, has a huge project tomorrow with an entertainment producer Kim Taehyung, who got them to work on the design of her dance studio. They met up with the man last week to finalized the design after the ocular inspection they had weeks prior and finally they are about to start the project tomorrow. The commissioned work doesn’t only involve interior designing but Beomgyu has to create murals for every room including the lobby at the storefront.
It is the biggest project their team had considering that KTH dance studio is situated at the very heart of Seoul. He knows he can’t fuck this up.
He types in a quick reply, and lays down in bed, staring at he ceiling. There’s nothing there and for a moment, he feels like the emptiness is directed back at him. He wishes he is back in Daegu, where his family is, but he remembers with a bitter taste how they had turned their backs on him the moment he revealed who he really was.
You’re just confused. Its impossible what you’re saying. It will pass. You should change yourself. You’re not trying hard enough. What will people say?
We can’t have a son like you.
That is probably why they never visited him in the hospital, even after Yeonjun called them and told them what happened. Maybe, they hated him more for that.
Screw home. Its been years he’s been there. Seoul is his home now and he might be lonely and scared, but at least he doesn’t have to hide who he is here. Besides, he also has his whole life here. He is slowly making a name for himself in interior designing while continuing his passion in painting. He doesn’t make much, but he at least has a decent one-bedroom apartment near his studio, albeit lacking of modern furniture, like a television or a functioning oven.
Beomgyu turns to face the window, watching as the sky turns from a dark to a shade of coral and then blue. He watches the day unfold right before his eyes, listens as the city stirs into life.
Its already 4 AM when his stomach grumbles from hunger. He drags himself out of bed and starts his day.
___
Yeonjun picks him up before six. Beomgyu is wearing his typical work clothes- a white undershirt under a grey wool pullover, folded up blue jeans and white sneakers. He tries to hide the bags under his eyes by wearing his full vue glasses.
Yeonjun frowns at him when he sees his glasses- already knowing why and when Beomgyu wears them, “You didn’t sleep again?”
Beomgyu shrugs as he slides into the passenger seat of Yeonjun’s pickup truck, “I’m fine”. He buckles himself and looks expectantly at Yeonjun who is still frowning at him, “Beomgyu, you do know you’re welcome at my apartment right?”
Beomgyu snorts, “My apartment? Its not your apartment hyung, your sister is there too.”
“So? My sister loves you.”
“That she does. And I don’t want to steal her from you.” Beomgyu gives a half-hearted smile before gesturing at the road, “Now drive, hyung. We still have to pickup some of our stuff in the studio”.
Yeonjun sighs, but pulls up to the road.
It takes around fifteen minutes to reach their studio and even from afar, Beomgyu has seen something that seriously surprised him. He’s not really sure if what he’s seeing is right, but when Yeonjun pulls over, he confirms his initial discovery.
There’s a kid by his mailbox.
Yeonjun turns to him in question, “Do you know him?”
He shrugs, rolling down the window to take a better look at the kid which should not be hard because his studio is on his side of the road. The moment he did so, a cold gust of wind entered the car reminding both of them the impending winter. He turns to the kid currently crouched down, leaning on the pole of his mailbox.
Okay, maybe calling him a kid is quite a stretch, considering that he looks already in his twenties, shorter than him by a few inches, maybe, but has a slightly leaner figure. But from what he can see despite the distance and the black face mask half covering the boy’s face- he looks kind of young. The skateboard beside him is also a dead giveaway of his age.
He also notes, with a bit of disdain how the guy must be a rich, spoiled kid considering the clothes he is wearing; an oversized Balenciaga hoodie, expensive looking jeans and really over the top orange Nike shoes.
“You think he’s dead?” Somewhere inside the car, Yeonjun asks.
“He’s breathing”. Beomgyu notes as he sees the fast rise and fall of the man’s chest….and he realizes something. Too fast. He’s breathing too fast.
“Yah! Beomgyu what the hell are you doing!”
Beomgyu ignores Yeonjun and opens the door to walk towards the boy. He hears Yeonjun’s car door open and close to follow him, “Beomgyu, I think we should call—”
“Hey, wake up”. Beomgyu lowers himself down so he could peer into the man’s face. He takes a longer look at the boy, yep, definitely not homeless, what with a clear, almost porcelain like skin. He wonders how long the boy has been there, as he grabs him by the shoulder, only to take his hand back from the heat emanating from the boy.
He’s burning up. In panic, Beomgyu grabs both the shoulders of the stranger, “Hey, hey, are you alright?” A soft groan comes from the boy, but nothing else. He turns to Yeonjun who’s already standing beside him, “What’s wrong?”
“He’s burning up”, Beomgyu explains putting a cold hand against the guy’s forehead. “We need to take him to the hospital”.
Yeonjun doesn’t even protest. Beomgyu checks his watch. They still have an hour before they need to be at the KTH studio where at least three of their staffs are already waiting. He turns to Yeonjun.
“Can you pick up our stuff hyung? I’ll put him in the car”.
Yeonjun nods, rushing to the studio in quick strides. Beomgyu turns back to the guy and grabs one of his arms, placing him around his shoulder and heaves him up. The guy is heavy and feels like dead weight as Beomgyu drags him towards the car. Despite a lot of struggle, he manages to open the door of the backseat and deposit the man inside.
During the struggle, somehow the guy’s face mask has fallen off and revealed a beautiful face that Beomgyu can’t help but stare at. Chiselled face, a sharp jaw, pursed pink lips, the biggest eyes he’s even seen and despite being sick, why does he look like he just came from a fairy tale and not sleeping on the side of the road. Beomgyu is not sure but, he thinks he has seen the boy somewhere.
He arranges the mask on the sleeping boy’s face before he buckles him to his seat and moves back to the passenger seat while keeping a close eye on the guy from the rear-view mirror.
Yeonjun gets in a little later, carrying his laptop and a box of stuff which he put on the floor at the back. He doesn’t say another word as he pulls up on the road and drives quietly to the hospital.
___
>>The number you’re calling is busy. Please try again later.
Beomgyu clicks his tongue as he pushes redial and hears the same operator’s voice. He wonders why Kim Taehyung is not answering but he decides to just send him a message.
<< Taehyung hyung, I’m trying to get hold of you but couldn’t get through. We just had an emergency and had to drop by the hospital. But we’re already on our way back to the studio. Our juniors are already there and they already started.
He sends the message before sinking into the flimsy cushion of the bench at the waiting area of the emergency room. He leans against the wall and closes his eyes. He knows he can trust his staff to follow his instructions, honestly, they are reliable enough that he sometimes, he feels he doesn’t even need to do any manual work.
“Beomgyu-ah!”, Yeonjun sits down beside him, handing him a cup of warm coffee, “Here.”
“Thanks.” He says taking it and warms his hands with the metal, “How is he?”
Yeonjun just shrugs as he takes a gulp of his own coffee. Beomgyu does the same and sighs.
“The guy has no identification with him. No wallet, no cell phone.”
“Was he mugged?”
“Doctor says he’s just overly fatigued and passed out.”
Beomgyu chuckles, “What can that kid be doing to tire himself so much he passes out?”
Yeonjun is looking at him sternly and he rolls his eyes, “Oh come on. That has never happened to me.”
“Yeah, because we were there and noticed immediately. We almost had to lock you up in your bedroom just so you stopped going to the studio.” Yeonjun chuckles darkly. “Beomgyu-ah, you really can be hard headed sometimes.”
Before he could retort, a doctor comes out of the door of the emergency room and calls their attention. They stand up immediately.
“Thank you for bringing him over. He’s not in any serious danger, is just his fever is really high so he might have caught an infection.” The doctor looks at the two of them, “Are you his friends or something?”
Yeonjun shrugs, “We found him on the front door of our studio. He’s burning up and so we decided to bring him here.”
“I see…he’s still not awake but he will, probably in the next couple of hours. Then he can identify himself and reach out to his emergency contact. Do you want to stay- “?
“We actually have somewhere to go”, Beomgyu said, chewing his lip. He doesn’t know why but leaving the unconscious man alone was not good but they really have no choice.
The doctor nods in understanding, “I understand. But is it okay if we get any of your contact numbers so just in case he doesn’t wake up or anything, we can contact you?”
“Why? We don’t know him too.” Yeonjun frowns turning to Beomgyu who is confused as well.
“Sorry. Its hospital policy. We have to have someone to contact when things happen.”
“I don’t- “
“Yeonjun hyung.” Beomgyu raises his hand, effectively shutting the elder guy up. He takes a piece of paper from his wallet, maybe a faded-out receipt from a restaurant and scrawls his full name and number, “Here. You can contact me here. And if I don’t answer, here’s my office address.” He adds the address to his studio.
Yeonjun is just staring at him in disbelief as he and the doctor exchange their goodbyes. Beomgyu turns to him as the doctor walks away, “Lets go.”
“Why did you do that?”
“What?”
“Give away your number just like that?”
Beomgyu shrugs. He also doesn’t know why but he feels like if something happens to that guy, he definitely wants to know or at least help him out. There’s something about him that’s piquing his curiosity. “We needed to leave and they needed a number. Now, just drive or we’ll be later that we already are.”
They walk wordlessly to the truck but before Yeonjun can’t even start the engine, he turns to Beomgyu, “Gyu, doesn’t that guy seem familiar?”
___
>> Beomgyu-sshi, I’m sorry I missed your call. I had to attend some urgent matters involving one of my talents. Anyway, your juniors had been very diligent and efficient so it’s fine. Thank you for your hard work.
___
“Bye bye, Beomgyu-ah!” Choi Soobin, one of his staff who works for his company (but is elder than him) waves across the table, already on his way home. Beomgyu nods at him, “Bye bye! Get home safe.”
He hears the sounds of the door of the studio clang with a loud bang and reminds himself that they should really get that door fixed anytime soon. Only a few lights are on his small studio pronouncing the late hour more. He looks around the studio- the design had always been a free open space with tables and chairs so people won’t feel constricted and would feel free to communicate anytime; but with tiny nooks here and there for when people needed to be left alone.
It used to be an ideal space for them, but with the hectic schedules, the tables are filled with strewn papers, open sketch books, dirty unwashed mugs and more clutter. He really can’t blame his juniors. All of them are tired, including Yeonjun hyung who took a day off today to rest after the exhausting week and a half they had at the KTH Studio.
At least, they’ve finished installing the mirrors on the actual dance studios (there are seven rooms in total and each room had to distinct from each other) and has started painting some murals on at least three of the rooms.
Unfortunately, their usual couch supplier had a problem with their shipment of the fabric and wood Beomgyu had chosen weeks prior so he had to change a bit on the design of the couches in the dance rooms.
He is sketching a few more designs so he could show to Kim Taehyung tomorrow at their meeting before he leaves for China. He’s a busy man, after all.
He looks up at the LED clock on the wall at the far end of his table and shakes his head when he sees its already past eleven. He starts to wrap up, picking up his fourth cup of coffee when his phone vibrated.
He picks it up and opens the KakaoTalk message from someone named Kang Taehyun.
>> Hi! You probably won’t remember me but I’m the guy you brought at the hospital. I’d like to apologize and say thank you for not leaving me for dead.
Beomgyu stares at the message, heart suddenly beating against his chest. He remembers that night after he brought the guy to the hospital, he’s waiting for the doctor to call but there’s none so he figured that the guy has finally woken up and they were able to get hold of his real emergency contact.
It takes a bit of time before he admitted himself that he finds the guy attractive…...but even when he did, he had long accepted that they will never cross paths again. God, he doesn’t even know his name!
But now he does. And that name sounds awfully familiar.
Before he can respond, another message comes in.
>> Sorry if I’m messaging at this late hour. You’re probably asleep already. I had to trick my manager to give me my phone and I begged the doctor to give me your number. I’m not sure if this is your correct number but I’d just like to thank you for volunteering to be my temporary emergency contact number.
<< Hi. Yes, it’s me.
He wants to kick himself at his stupidly unfriendly response.
>>Did I wake you? I’m really sorry.
<<No, I’m still at work.
>>Still working? Wow, you’re hardworking, hyung.
Beomgyu chuckles, denying that the blush on his cheeks is not because Kang Taehyun called him hyung.
<<How are you? Are you out of the hospital?
>>Yeah. Just got out this afternoon. I’ve been okay since Wednesday but my manager threatened me physical pain if I don’t listen to her.
Beomgyu laughs at that. This kid. His office manager even had to baby him just to make sure he doesn’t die.
<<I might have to agree with her. She’s such a kind person for doing that.
>>She’s a pain in the ass. But yeah, she kind of reminds me of my mom so I guess she’s not that bad.
<<I bet she is. Taking off office days just to watch over you. You must be really good employee.
It takes a while for the response to come and Beomgyu thinks Taehyun might have fallen asleep and he has already began turning his laptop when his phone vibrates again.
>> Yeah. I’m the best.
<<Wow, so confident. Are you sure the infection didn’t reach your head?
>> I’m a cool guy.
Beomgyu shakes his head, but the constant smiling is making his jaw hurt.
<< Don’t exhaust yourself again. I can’t believe that really happened. I mean, I don’t really understand how it did.
>> I was skateboarding and felt dizzy. I sat down on the pavement and maybe just blacked out?
<< That’s dangerous, Taehyun-sshi. What if someone else saw you and didn’t help? Or mugged you?
>>I like that.
<<Getting mugged?
>> You calling me “Taehyun-sshi”.
His cheeks heat up. This kid.
<<Well you looked younger than me.
>> I’m not. I’m already 23!
<< Still a kid. I’m 24.
>> Then can I call you Beom-hyung?
Beomgyu’s heart skips a beat. What the heck?
<< Sure. Taehyun-sshi.
>> Thank you, Beom hyung.
<< You probably need to rest more. Go to sleep.
>> I could say the same to you, Beom hyung.
<< I’m about to head home.
>> Oh, I see. Safe trip, then. Good night, Beom hyung.
<< Good night, Taehyun-sshi.
ВЫ ЧИТАЕТЕ
IF I STAY
ФанфикWhat do you do when you're plagued with monsters of your past? You run away. Choi beomgyu always does. Leaving Daegu, dropping out of art college in Daegu to run to Seoul...everything he does is inspired by the need to run away. Fight or flight and...
