Second Person (The Diary of Addison Montgomery)

Second Person, Twenty

Second Person, Twenty

You never actually meant to 'come out' to Meredith Grey. But you did before you had a chance to think twice about it. It was for a good cause after all. Derek Shepherd still doesn't know. And you're not sure you ever want him to.

Meredith promised she wouldn't tell on you.

And you thank God for that.

She says she owes you for all the chocolate. You say thank you, for the secret, but because not you think she owes you.

You tell her just as much, and Meredith understands that you don't go for chocolate out of any obligation. That the chocolate is a mutual escape for you both.

It was because there was a patient of yours and Meredith's, after her surgery, who was being really overtly homophobic.

She was yelling about how she didn't want anything to do with anyone gay or lesbian.

And that the world would be best if they didn't exist.

Before you can think twice you tell her you're gay and ask if she wishes you never saved her fucking life.

And then she shuts up for a while.

And then she doesn't say no, but she doesn't say yes, either. And the non-answer is almost enough for you.

So you caved and now Meredith is looking at you and you're scared she's going to say something homophobic too.

But all she says is "is that why you got a divorce?"

And you burst out laughing and you say "probably," and that just makes both of you laugh even harder.

Meredith doesn't ask how Mark Sloan ever fits into that equation, and you're glad because you don't want to explain the whole 'lesbian porn dirty talk thing' to her.

And she never changes the way that she looks at you, or the way that she acts around you. And she gets you a hot chocolate, saying that even if nobody died, the bullying did, and that's reason enough.

And you want to ask Meredith why she's so supportive of you.

But you don't.

And you tell her not to tell Derek because you're not ready. And she says that she won't. And she never does.

-Addison Montgomery

In her personal diary. While printing off a full-resolution colored picture of the pride flag. Because Meredith said it would be funny if you taped it to her medical chart for her when she leaves after her surgery. And you actually do it, too, just for her (Meredith, you mean. Not the homophobic asshole).

****** END OF CHAPTER TWENTY

Author's Note:

Congrats, Addie.

Thanks, Mer.

Now, what the hell will happen here?

bobbiejelly

Ps. Comment if you get my self-indulgent reference to Addison coming out in Chapter 20. EEK!

And of course, onto the dedications:

Ao3:

LordOfLezzies you are the MVP for commenting on EVERY CHAPTER! Thanks to Arahneia for the lovely words and Also, of course, thanks to AddisonAddek and LordOfLezzies, all on Ao3

AddisonAddek for wanting more and commenting (a heck-ton) today, plus LordOfLezzies (also, because you're super) and Hotgitay who commented on Chapter 1.

Arahneia, AddisonAddek, Dragoncatcher123, LordofLezzies, and Hotgitay as well as 1 guest left kudos on this work! 97 hits so far. 72 comments.

Fanfiction:

smountain for the lovely review. 320 views.

Wattpad:

Comments and suggestions from Eleven_256 , and naylorholby  always make my day.

Thanks for the most WONDERFUL shout-out comment from JordynMarie05.

myfairlilymunster  for the comments on Chapter 1.

danielaperezsurga , JordynMarie05 , Unicornbaby78 , myfairlilymunster , outlawqueenpercabeth , naylorholby , AddisonAddek , and probably some others who don't show up on my phone, voted on this, thanks. 222 reads, 16 comments, and 84 stars.

Also THANKS to everyone else who reads this someday, and to a friend in 'real-life' who beta'ed this for me. Much love.

Ps. Reccomending reading Soothe today if you want to check that out because there's a new Chapter 15 of that posted now!

bobbiejelly