Second Person (The Diary of Addison Montgomery)

Second Person, Thirty

Second Person, Thirty

Your mini diary piece has long since been safely tucked into your undershirt by the time you fall asleep. Meredith Grey has not woken up yet, and you lie down on the pillow beside her.

She's using your belly as a pillow now, so you have hers all to yourself. The top of her head smells lovely. She once told you she uses a lavender conditioner. It's your favorite smell.

Meredith is, your favorite smell is her, that is, and not her conditioner alone, though that certainly helps make it intoxicating for you.

You half fall asleep with her in your arms because you're so damn tired after all that has happened. You're content as you're lying there half-asleep, just staying by her side because she asked you to.

You know you've been spoiled for life now; now that you've had her in your arms laying down, you'll never not feel just a little more lonely while you're at home, in bed, without her, but you still wouldn't trade this chance for anything in the world.

You're lulled even further halfway to dreamland by the sound of her lightly snoring as she nuzzles closer to you. She didn't wake up, but she stirred just a little while you were moving around to write the last things down.

Meredith is so beautiful, you've already said that at least a hundred times, but she is.

The weight of her body pressed into your makes you feel whole again. You feel complete like you've never felt ever before.

You're terrified you'll never get to do this again, once she inevitably wakes up and finally starts asking for her boyfriend, Derek.

You're just grateful she hasn't started asking for him yet, and that as her friend, that she woke up the first time from surgery, asking only for you...

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You feel Meredith stirring in your arms as you fall asleep, but she doesn't wake up, she just nuzzles her head closer to your heart as she tucks herself closer into you.

You brush her hair off her face and she sighs contentedly in her sleep as you massage her temples gently the way you know that she likes it. She falls into a deeper sleep again.

You realize you must have fallen asleep because you blink your eyes open hours later as Meredith is still napping. You figure she needs all the rest she can get, as she did just undergo major surgery.

You hold her still, as you caress her sides and hold onto her waist. You don't feel bad about it this time, because she had already woken up and given you explicit permission and begged you to cuddle her.

So you do, and occasionally she snuggles in more, to you. You hear her heart beating steady beats as you realize she's probably lulled to sleep from hearing yours, judging by the way her ear is tucked into your chest.

You remember the time she was suturing a heart and it felt like she was sewing your heart back up. You now imagine that Meredith is literally cuddling her way into your heart. You like it.

You doze off again, she's still asleep. You dream happy dreams and when you wake up and try to remember, you think that Meredith was in love with you back, in those dreams.

You try to remember that those were dreams and not part of reality, but you keep thinking of your happy dreams and you doze off again to have more as you nap. You sleep very well...