Second Person (The Diary of Addison Montgomery)

Second Person, Twenty-Five

Second Person, Twenty-Five

You're not sure how the topic came up, or why confessed you had once been pregnant with Mark Sloan's baby. But you did. And in front of Mark, Derek, Callie, Izzie, Cristina, Alex, George and Meredith Grey, no less. This day was going to be a hard day. And you are craving chocolate, now, again.

It probably started when there was a patient who was admitted who had a teen pregnancy. Obviously, you were called in, to help, along with Izzie Stevens. She talked about giving a kid up when she got pregnant at fifteen, and you really respected her honesty.

Then Cristina talked about how she got pregnant from Burke and hated it, how she was going to have an abortion but never went through with it only because she had an ectopic pregnancy. Cristina thanks you for saying her life, and you thank her for living by her values. (You also want to yell at Preston Burke for being mad about that, but you don't).

And George talks about how he doesn't want a baby now, but he might someday, and how it was such an honor to be there while Bailey's baby was being born. And Callie Torres sort of vaguely talks to George about how she might also want to have her own kids someday...

Alex Karev says he wants kids only if he has a good mother along with him and that he shapes up to be a good dad. Callie says that he seems like the kind of guy who might someday barbecue and he thanks her for that, and also confesses he once slept with Callie before Callie met George, and George is jealous over that.

And then Derek is there and saying that at one point he was sort of trying to have kids with you, but that never had worked out. And then you confess, in tears, how you had gotten pregnant and you found out pretty much just after Derek had left you in New York.

And then Mark and Derek both know almost immediately it was Mark's because you had not had sex with Derek in years by that point, and Derek is hurt you had sex with Mark and not him, and he doesn't know the reason. And Mark knows that you're gay, and he's hurt because you hid the baby from him.

And then Meredith Grey asks you very gently what happened with the baby because you don't seem to have a child unless you're hiding that from everyone. And then you tell them that you ended it, before telling Mark or Derek, and you still hate yourself a bit for it, even though it's still what you would have wanted.

And Meredith looks so sad for you, and she's giving you a look like she wants to hold you in her arms as you did the other day. But you can't in front of everyone, so you just sit there and Mark puts an arm around you but you brush him off. Then Callie goes to do this but you see George look at you with a bit of jealousy so you shrug her off, too.

And then eventually Richard Webber appears with Preston Burke and summons Mark and Derek on a case. And both of the men of your past give you a look that says "we will talk about this later with you," and you already know they will talk about it with each other.

And then Bailey comes eventually to summon all the interns again for another case. And you notice that Meredith Grey, probably by accident, says she'll come in a minute because she has to get her stethoscope from her locker, first.

Except as soon as Bailey walks away you find out Meredith was lying. She pulls it out a little from her pocket as she suggests you go get a chocolate doughnut from the coffee cart together. So you sneak out to get them as she hides in the washroom from Bailey.

And Meredith eats fast because she doesn't have much time at all. And you savor yours slowly because you haven't been paged in yet. And she's looking at you like she knows you want to talk about it and you do and that helps you.