𝘨𝘭𝘦𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘳𝘺

.

Have you ever unintentionally thought something so dirty and horrific that you're scarred for life?

Yeah same. It's actually incredibly common with me.

Like, I just—

How does someone manage to get this mentally deranged?

Like, I found out recently that Chris Colfer and I are hand twins. Our hands are freaking identical it's not even funny.

And now I can't fucking wipe my ass without thinking about how we share the same hands. And then I get really uncomfortable and just kinda sit on my toilet, not wanting to wipe my ass. Because it would be like Chris was wiping my ass for me and I just—

See my problem? I have a problem. Surely there's a hospital for people like me, somewhere.

Chris and I actually look horrifyingly similar, despite the fact that I'm overweight and he is definitely not. Like, same hair color, same skin tone, same eye color, same nose, same fucking hands. I could honestly be his long lost sister and I'd never know.

BUT HAVING THE SAME HANDS AS ONE CHRIS COLFER HAS ITS ADVANTAGES. For example, I can easily photoshop an image to make it look like I'm holding Darren Criss's hand. Just get rid of some of that luscious arm hair, and boom.

I can also *technically* say that I twirl sai's and am a professional ninja. Because he uses his hands to do that and we have the same hands, so it's almost as if I did it with him.

I can also say that I wore an engagement ring given to me my Darren Criss / Blaine Anderson. Whichever one floats your boat. Because, yet again, same hands have the same experiences.

So yes, I may not be able to wipe my ass anymore without thinking that I violated some law, but hey; it's worth it.

It just occurred to me that this is barely Glee related at all sorry,, I just can't talk to my parents about this realization without receiving excessive amounts of hate. They kinda think my obsession with Glee is sickly. . .

Which it definitely is.

I apologize to all of the readers I've lost in the making of this 😔 I hope my horrible mind doesn't prevent us from being friends.