Both of my hearts, for you

Bottled Minds

The Doctor sometimes needed to think, like everyone does. And his favorite place to think was sitting at the bottom of his pool, where he's alone, it's quiet. He could do this for a rather long amount of time, being a Time Lord. Today, however, he wouldn't stay under that long.

~The Doctor's POV~

I was conflicted. Highly conflicted, by myself, in my own thoughts... River Song shot Kovarian. A head-shot, as accurate as always.. she murdered Kovarian. Murder is wrong, and River has problems with that.

Then again, Kovarian had done a lot worse than murder. She'd kidnapped a child, manipulated her, conditioned her.. done things I don't even want to know about, things River whimpers about in her sleep. She hurt my Ponds, all three of them. And I couldn't stop her.

Kovarian was also about to execute me, there was that. After River had shot Kovarian, freed me, I saw.. she was holding a syringe, a syringe full of what could only be the sap of the Judas tree. It hurt like hell just on my skin, I don't wish to ever know what it would feel like to have an injection of it, and I nearly did, but River shot Kovarian. Saved me.

But then again, she murdered her! And, I will say it again, and I am doing so. MURDER IS NOT OKAY! River agreed she wouldn't murder anyone anymore.. but she lies just as much as I do, and that's a lot. Rule number one, the Doctor lies, huh. I need to fix that.

I came to a conclusion. River and I need to have a talk about not murdering. Again. And a talk about anger management. She has problems with that, as well, which is completely Kovarian's fault. It's actually a bit funny and ironic, now that I'm thinking about it. Kovarian created her perfect psychopath to kill an enemy. Her 'perfect psychopath', however, killed her and married the enemy. Oh, how the universe works in funny ways. Just like I do sometimes.

There's a sudden splash in the water, which surprises me from my thoughts, and I lose a bubble of air. I look straight into River's eyes and smile at her. She never fails to surprise me.

~River Song's POV~

I knew the Doctor was doing that little thing where he goes to the pool and sits at the bottom for hours at a time. He generally does it when he's conflicted. I pick up on these little things of his. It's always fun to figure him out, especially when he keeps so much of himself tucked away, even from me. His dark side, his soft side, his caring side.. oh, this man. He's so complex and confusing, and I love it. But, I must admit, he's a bit broken.. just like me. But I'm good at picking up the pieces and putting them back, just as they used to be. I am an archaeologist, after all.

Deciding he needed me, I removed my purse and all other water-sensitive objects from myself, and dive into the water.

He looks funny when he's shocked, and I love it. His eyes went wide, and a bubble of air escapes from between his lips, then he smiles at me. I motion up with my hands, and he rolls his eyes, before grabbing my hand in that way he always does (which has gotten me in trouble, once) and kicks up for the surface, pulling me up with him. We both break the surface and pause, taking in a breath, before I pull myself up on the edge of the pool and look down at him.

"What were you thinking about?" I ask, and he rolls his eyes again.

"I was just thinking about how you shot Kovarian without even a second thought. It's a little unsettling." I pause. How was this even conflicting to him? He knew how bad, how horrible Kovarian was... or did he?

"..I've wanted to shoot her since I was six years old, just a baby.. but she had me terrified. I could have sworn her and her soldiers could read my mind. She.. she mentally conditioned me, she gave me the most intense military training to exist. You don't understand the full meaning of that, do you? Kovarian and her soldiers broke me. They ruined me.. they let the Silence do things to me, and I can only partially remember them. Do you know how terrifying that is? To have this horrible memory since you were only five years old, and it's terrifying, scarring, but you don't know why or how it happened until you piece it together 20 years later?"