The bond

Chapter 11: Crimson

When we got our menus things started making more sense. 

The name, that I didn't see at the front of the restaurant, was in big letters on top of the rainbow colored menu. The name on top of the page read queersphere. Like the place for queers to hang. After looking at the title I looked up just in time to see taehyung winking at Namjoon and Jin. Were they gay? Probably not. It could just be an inside joke. And their english isn't that great, they probably don't know what queer means. For anyone that doesn't know, it's an umbrella term for the lgbtq+ community.

After handing back our menus and telling the waitress what we'd like Taehyung started "Let's discuss the elephant." the elephant? There were lots of colorful animals scattered round the restaurant but I don't think I spotted an elephant. Looking around I really wondered where he saw one. There was a giant giraf next to a blue table in the middle of the room and I saw a multi colored pig over at a crimson table. But for as far as I could see there was no elephant. Looking at the others I saw them all frowning their eyebrows and looking at taehyung weirdly. I heard Namjoon ask him what he meant. But I couldn't understand Taehyung's reply. That was untill I saw namjoon throw his head back laughing and saying "You mean let's discuss the elephant in the room." 

What is he on about? Does he want to talk about why I didn't want to come on tour at first? That I don't believe in soulmates and destiny? That I didn't even want to be here? Or why he got the gift and I haven't? That something went wrong during our bonding? Or did they find something about me on the internet? I don't know how they could've, I try to stay as unnoticable as possible on social media. all my accounts are private. I don't post pictures too often and when I do I mainly take pictures of things I see or friends of mine. I don't like how I look on pictures. I can never look normal. I either look too fake or the photo is taken on a moment where I close my eyes or sneeze or god knows what. I haven't quite mastered the picture taking skill. And only friends of mine and people I'm close with follow me. I don't think I have more than fifthy followers on any of my social media accounts. My body felt frozen as I was just thinking over everything that they could've found. The nerves getting the better of me. I almost couldn't breath, I was just totally consumed with nerves. My hands were trembling and I put them under the table to not have them notice. 

"Why aren't you a fan of ours?" Taehyung then goes on to ask. I can feel my whole body deflate and can't help but let out something in between a laugh and a sigh of relief. This was not what I was expecting. I should really stop picturing worst case scenarios twenty four seven. 

But why am I not a fan of their music? You'd think that since we're soulmates and all we'd like the same things. And since he makes that music he must also like it right? Maybe it's true that opposites attract, maybe that's the reason. But in all soulmate cases I know there are lots of things they have in common. To be fair I only know 4 people who found their soulmate. So maybe this does mean something went wrong during our bonding. Maybe Faye was meant for him after all and it was an accident that he bonded with me? I don't know the science of soulmates. There is no science of soulmates, everyone is different. It would be so much easier if you could just follow a few rules and have everything turn out great.

"I don't know. Growing up I always listened to the music my older brother was listening to. So I was kind of an emo kid, still am to be honest. K-pop just isn't really active in that area, if you exclude the fanwars. I also quite like it when there's debt to the music itself. Not just the lyrics. When I listen to music I feel like the instruments kind of speak to me. I feel like the guitars and drums all tell a different point of view of the same story. That way you can keep listening again and again and find new things. New insights into what the meaning of the writer was and how it evolved." After finishing my little ramble I could feel all eyes on me Taehyung and Jimin with their mouths open, like they didn't expect this waterfall of words. I didn't expect it either to be completely honest. Just when I started talking I felt this urge to really fully explain myself and what I adore about music and how it speaks to me. 

"Wow" Jimin says then looking down frowning his eyebrows and looking up again. "You've put a lot of thought into this." Yoongi then goes on to speak "That's kind of like how it works when we write music. We're all different people and have different opinions and point of views on things. We've all been through different things. But when making a song together we're able to melt all these ideas and memories into different parts of the song. We try to come together through music as well but instead of being the story, for us the music underneath the words is like a road to guide people trough our experiences and emotions." 

I got to say I've never thought about it like this. Now it's everyone's turn to look at him with wide eyes clearly surprised by what just came out of his mouth. Seemingly unimpressed he just shrugs and looks out the window. 

"I guess subconsciously we do. When I write a song I think about the topic and what I want to get out into the world. Which things I want the fans to see and feel. But I also think about how my story can complete or coexist with other parts of the story." Namjoon explains deep in thought. there's a silence that dawns upon our little group. But it's not an akward silence. You can feel everyone is thinking about the same things and like in the music, we're all making our own opinions and our own story.