The bond

chapter 19: Rainbow

"Large?" I ask seeing the girl nod. I hold the t-shirt up and when she nods again I hand it to her, receiving the money before plopping down on the stool. "That was the last one people if you want to take a break do it now, the shows about to start in twenty." john exclaims as he claps his hand dismissing the part of the crew to go sit in the bleachers and asking half to stay, in the middle of the concert they switch. Turning to me he says "Now, do you wanna go look at yer boy with hearteyes or do you wanna stay here with me?" I think I'd like to go watch the boys, their performances are great and yeah I do like looking at JK with 'hearteyes', even though I'll never admit that to anyone, and if you talk I will deny all claims. "No hearteyes John, but I think I'll go watch." he raises one eyebrow before saying "Whatever you say doll, go have fun." 

With that I turn to leave with a little smile tugging at my lips. Their music somehow seemed to have improved overnight. Or the fact that I now know them could be a factor. they're honestly so talented, and don't get me wrong even though I still have my own taste in music, music with a little more drum. Or instruments as a whole. I do see why millions of people adore them and their music. 

This is the third time I've watched the show.  I just want to see it every night. Seeing the love they bring to their every performance just warms my heart. Their fans mean so much to them and when I look at Faye I can see that they also mean a lot to their fans. I really love that Jk is doing a job he truly loves and has so many people who support him. 

the lights go out untill there's a single spotlight left. And then all hell breaks loose. The dancing starts, the singing starts. And every single girl starts screaming and jumping. And this surreal feeling of pride starts taking over. My face is engulfed in a wide smile. 

"yo yo yo!" violet says plopping down in the seat next to me. I smile at her looking back to the show. "I thought you weren't a fan." Violet states a smile evident on her face. "Well I guess I should've given him more of a chance." I repeat, not really thinking about my words. But I should have, Oh I should've. Because without missing a beat I heard a shriek comming from violets mouth. If it wasn't for the fact that everyone was screaming anyway there would be a lot of weird stares. "You should've given HIM a chance?" she starts fanning her face "Does this mean you have accepted Jk as your soulmate!!! Oh my god I knew you wouldn't resist his charms. And now we can be best friends till the end of times. Jk will be so happy. I overheard him talking to the boys about it and it crushed my heart hearing him talk about you, but now everything is fine! you're going to be the perfect couple.." 

Somewhere in her rant I stopped listening. I looked in Jk's way. he was dancing and sweating, looking seductively at the crowd.

Fuck.

I think I really like him. 

This can't be happening. I wasn't supposed to like him. Not when I know there's no garantee it will last. Not when I don't know him properly. 

"I gotta go to the bathroom." I say cutting Violet off and turning away. I didn't actually have to go to the toilet but I just needed to get out of there. The air felt like it was suffocating me, especially after the realisation I just had. 

My heart is beating fast in my chest when I walk out of the venue. I sit against a pillar outside looking at the stars and wondering how the in the f*cking hell this happened so fast. This was not supposed to happen at all. I don't want to love someone because fate or whatever power out there decides that the person is right for me. 

I want to be the one to make that decision. I, me, not anyone or anything else. 

I feel some tears running down my cheeks, and notice my breath getting uneven. My heart is beating in my ears and my throat is closing up. 

No.

This is not the moment to have a breakdown or a panic attack. Get a hold of yourself Alex. Taking out my phone I see just how bad it is, my hands are trembling and I almost click on the wrong name icon.

Beeep

Beeep

Beeeeeeep

"Hola amigos I can't come to the phone right now, but you know what to do, give me a message after the beep, or don't because chance is I'll only hear that message in like two years ciao." Faye's chirpy voice comes through the speaker.

Fuck, trembling and breathing even worse than before I click the following name in my very short list of favorite numbers.

Beeep

Beeep

Beee-

"Lexi how are you doing?" My brothers voice calls out, shortly followed by a "Shit Lex breath, long deep breaths please, I'm here Lexi." I try to follow him as he breaths deeply in the microphone showing me what I should be doing instead of the panicking that's happening right now. "Okay Lex think of one thing you can see, found it? Good, now one thing you can hear, you hear my voice? That's one thing, then one thing you're feeling. Feel your phone in your hand. now two things you can see..." Michael continues talking leaving short pauses in between the things he's asking me to look for. He's trying to ground me in the here and now which I am so grateful for, because guess what it's working. 

Taking one last breath I can finally find my voice "Thanks Mike, I think I'm alright now." "What happened?" came Michael's immediate response. "Uhm... It's kind of a long story, I don't really wanna talk about it right now, I'm just afraid of turning in to mom and dad I guess." I try to explain. "What do you mean like mom and dad?" Michael asks, my silence seems to be enough of an answer because only seconds later he exclaims "Wait, wait do you mean you found your soulmate!? Lex that's so great I mean I know you're scared of it but you're not mom nor is he or she dad." 

"He, my soulmate is a he." I whisper in response.

hi, after Idk two years I'm back I guess, this was the last chapter I had written but I changed a lot so well here you go and hopefully I'll be back sooner than in two years this time x