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I read a manhwa the other day and it made me feel very icky all day and even a few days after I had finished it.
So I was wondering, does this story make you feel uncomfortable, sad, icky, happy or anything else? I'm wondering what kind of 'impact' my story has on others
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Y/N pov
He moved the knife to my chest and I faced away from the sight as I let my thoughts drift off.
I wonder what it's like to be dead. I wonder what it feels like to breathe your last breath. Will you feel the life slipping out of your body? Will you feel yourself getting colder? Will your life flash by in your mind as some people claim?
Imagine if none of this ever happened. I would've lived a normal life, I would've maybe met a nice guy. I had nice parents, are they worried about me? Or did Taehyung make them believe I ran away from home? How did all of this even start?
So many questions and I didn't know the answer to any of them
''I never wanted to hurt you, Y/N. I have loved you no matter what you did. I never did anything bad to you. I treated you like the princess you are. I've always been a good guy to you! And you just mess me up like this! Why would you do this to me? What have I ever done to you?'' he screams and the knife is shaking in between his fingers.
''You're the one always causing problems! You played me, you played with my feelings when you knew I love you so much!'' Taehyung sobs ''this is what you get for lying.''
Was it all my fault? Was I the one wrong from the start of all this? Could I have done something differently? What if I did some things differently? Would Kaga be alive still? What If I never replied to Jimin that day, would he be alive?
Are their deads my fault? Did I kill them? maybe I am the murderer and Taehyung is innocent.
Maybe I deserved all of this. Maybe all of this is my punishment for killing people. What if I was the one who shot the cop? Could it be me? Or was it Taehyung. I can't remember. Did Taehyung kill Kaga or was that also me?
''Fuck,'' I hiss when I felt the knife slice through my skin and collarbone, causing blood to pour out of my body. I deserved this. I am a murderer. I deserve this pain. I should be in jail. What have I done? What have I done to Taehyung? It is all my fault and only mine.
''I'm sorry...'' I whisper. My mouth was getting dry and I felt my eyelids getting very heavy. My body started to weaken and I felt myself not being able to fight anymore. ''I'm so sorry, Taehyung. Please forgive me.''
Maybe in another life, we are happy. Maybe if he had done everything differently I would've fallen in love with him. His boxy smile appeared in my mind. The way he would softly caress my skin as if I was going to fall apart if he was a little rougher.
The sweet nights we'd share in front of his fireplace and the deep conversations we used to have. The way he would look at me at times with such intense love in his eyes. The way his lips would curl up when I made a bad joke. The way he would make my hot chocolate way too sweet for my liking.
The way we could have been happy. I could have been proud to call him my boyfriend. The way I would have melted into his arms, feeling safe when he would embrace me. The way 'I love you' would feel so special. God, why is my life so unfair. Why cant it be like that, why can't we just be happy? Why can't we just love each other like a normal couple?
Why'd I have to be like this? Why...
Maybe... Maybe in another we life we are happily together. Maybe we are in love there. Maybe we got married like he wanted to. Maybe we have little kids running around the house.
