Chaotic Love

Chapter 12

Everyone have their own baggages to carry but not everyone are strong enough to carry it until the end.

Unang tumama ang sinag ng araw sa mga mata ni Liam. I tried to blocked it using my own hands. He fell asleep on my lap. Hindi ko na pinansin ang pangangalay ng mga paa ko.

Liam looked so peaceful while he's asleep. A smiled escaped on my lips as I tried to touched his face. He's one of the bravest person I know.

He closed his eyes while holding my hands guiding it on his lips. He planted a soft kiss that brings butterflies on my stomach.

"Sorry, I fell asleep." He mumbled, still with his eyes closed.

Kahit hindi niya makita ay tumango ako sa kanya. "They say angels sang you to sleep right after crying."

My eyes wandered around the place. Hindi ko lubos akalain na ang ganitong makulay na lugar ay magbibigay sa akin ng kapayapaan.

Maybe it isn't about the place. Maybe it's about the people I am with.

"You must be my angel." His lips formed a smile.

"I would love to." I would love to watched over him all the time and make sure that he's fine.

"Jerard..." He trailed off and got up from lying. He sat down in front of me.

I raised my eyebrow at him, waiting for his next statement. "Thank you for the poems you had written for me."

Unt-unting nanikip ang dibdib ko matapos marinig ang kanyang sinabi. Poems? But...that's not me. Those aren't mine.

But I wasn't able to say it loud. I flashed a small smile, trying to hide what I'm really feeling...hoping that he would see it.

"I am keeping all of it." Umiling ito tila hindi makapaniwala sa kanyang sinabi habang may ngiti pa rin sa kanyang mga labi.

"At first, I got a creepy feeling on it. Because...who wouldn't? But...I didn't noticed how I'm starting to like it... those poems comforted me." He looked at me straight in the eyes. An unnamed fear crept into my system yet for some reason, I don't want him to see it.

Napalunok ako matapos marinig ang kanyang sinabi. "I had no clue on who was that person. My stupid brother knew about it. Donna showed herself...but little did they knew that I saw you...handling those letters every morning." Napangiti pa ito habang inaalala kung paano niya ako nakita.

"That's the orientation girl I met. I knew it." He said with such assurance.

I bitterly smiled at him. For some reason, I got a weird feeling...this shouldn't be me. This should be Charm.

"Kaya ba...bigla mo...uh...akong pinansin?"

"No! I didn't expect that I'll see you that night. After it, I can't get you out of my head. But...matagal ko ng gustong lumapit sayo para magpasalamat...hindi lang makahanap ng tiyempo." He laughed.

I tried to laughed with him. It just sounded wrong. Wala akong ibang magawa kung hindi ang lumunok ng isang malaking bara sa lalamunan.

Totoo nga talaga ang sinabi nila. Pagkatapos ng saya...ang lungkot lungkot na naman.

Ang importante naman sumaya ako diba? Kahit na nalaman ko ngayon na dapat si Charm iyong nandito. Hindi ako.

I suddenly become so scared to tell him the truth. Pakiramdam ko...sa oras na malaman niya na hindi ako iyon...iiwan niya na rin ako.

Nawala ako sa aking iniisip ng bigla akong hilahin ni Liam para tumayo.

"We didn't went all the way here to just talked. Let's take a dip!" Wala akong magawa kung hindi ang tumango sa kanya.

Sabay kaming lumublob sa pool. I let my worries be once again washed away by the cold water.

This colorful place is such a scam. Sa dilim pa rin pala ang kapayapaan ko. And Liam...he will also be a chaos in my heart...and so I am.

I let myself enjoy. Minsan ay bubuhatin ako ni Liam. He wouldn't let go of my hand...this should be Charm.

Hindi iyon maalis sa isipan ko. Para siyang bangungot. Nakakatakot.

"I would want to stay in this moment forever...with you." My heart sanked upon hearing how sincere he is.

"Ako rin." Pinigilan kong pumiyok. My tears were starting to betray me.

Mabilis akong lumangoy palayo kay Liam. Hinayaan kong sabayan ng bawat kumpas ng aking mga kamay ang mga luhang hindi ko mapigilan.

I let out a deep breathe. Nakangiti lamang si Liam habang pinagmamasdan ako. Nasa isang sulok na ako ng pool. It's getting dark.

I let myself shiver in the cold. Not until I saw Liam coming out from the water...standing in front of me.

He placed his hands around me, fencing me from something.

"Maybe the real reason why I haven't like any girls was because you already  had my heart." He said in between his breathe.

It wasn't me. It should be Charm. I keep reminding myself about the painful reality I had seen.

Nagising na ako mula sa isang masayang panaginip. Salamat. Salamat kasi sa panaginip na 'to, minsan siyang naging akin.

His one hand touches my face. I closed my eyes and feel it. How being touched by Liam brought me to heaven.

Unti-unti...unti-unti kong naramdaman ang pagdikit ng kanyang malambot na labi sa akin.

At first, it was just a smack...until he angled my face and claimed my lips passionately as if he had claimed my life with such passion.

Hawak-hawak ni Liam ang isang kamay ko habang pauwi kami. Paminsan-minsan din ang pagsulyap niya sa akin.

Guilt keeps on knocking my senses. It keeps on waking me up from this good dream that I just had.

Ipinikit ko na lang ang aking mga mata at saka hinayaan ang sariling makatulog.

I woke up when I noticed Liam poking me on my shoulders.

"I hope you had fun." He parked his car few inches away from our house. Madilim na rin sa daan.

I looked at him. How this man once became mine...

"Thank you for today." It was almost a whisper of how thankful I am that it was me who he caught.

It was me who he likes. It was me who he drawn his attention to.

He nodded and planted a soft kiss on my forehead.

"Ingat ka." I told him before getting off his car.

Bukas pa sa salas namin kaya doon ako dumaan papasok. Nagmano ako kay Mama na kasalukuyang naglilinis sa kusina.

It was around eight thirty in the evening. Akala ko pa naman ay alas diyes kami makakauwi.

"Kumain ka na ba?" Usisa ni Mama sa akin.

"Tapos na po." I told her.

Nag drive thru kasi ulit kami ni Liam and ate while on our way home.

Hindi ko alam kung kailan ako umiyak. Hindi ko matandaan kung gaano kasakit ang mga dahilan ng iyak na 'yon pero ngayon malinaw ang lahat sa akin.

It shouldn't be me. What am I even doing in the picture?