Her Broken Dream [√]

Chapter 32 :" A Date "

Two days later .

     
Gauri woke up to a tiny pair of hands shaking her and sleepily she lifted her son to the bed and opened her eyes to see his smiling face .
   
Looking at her son made everything better, he was moving his hands to indicate he was hungry that she realized a new days has begun, another day where she would have to be around him .
   
Arnav had taken her words into consideration, but decide to ignore it because he was here every single day trying to tell her nothing have to change between them and she need not walk away from him .
 
Her son was happy to have him around and so was she yet as the day for Lavanya wedding grew near she grew restless as well, worrying about their eventual heartbreaks .
 
" Let us  make you pancakes " She answered back, and if part of her made the decision because Arnav likes it, she can't help herself .
 
Usually he would arrive early in the morning and only leave after Rahul felt asleep, so she was disappointed when he didn't make it for the breakfast and not even text message to indicate his reason for silence .
   
She wanted to spend time with him as much as she can now because she will miss him terribly when it is all over. You need not let him go her mind whispered all the time but Gauri didn't have the courage to hold on to him .
      
Ishaan had taken Rahul out when the little one was disappointed just like her to not see Arnav which was why she was alone with her parents in the house. And her mother who had been waiting for the opportunity to speak to her alone choose that moment of privacy .

             
Gauri was in her room picking the dress for Lavanya engagement latter tonight all the while contemplating if she should call Arnav first when her mom entered the room .
       
" Beta, can I have a moment? " her mother asked her and even before she voiced it out, Gauri knew it would be about Arnav .
     
" Last night, I asked Arnav beta not to come today. " her mother confession brought a hint of anger within her because they can't just decide for her, at least not about Arnav .
      
" Why ?" she asked instead because she didn't understand her parents. They were the one who hoped she let go of the past and give Arnav a chance.
   
" Forget my reason, I was thinking of something else. Have you thought about anything else except him throughout the day " her mother asked and she couldn't lie so remained silent .
    
" I have seen you both before Gauri and I have seen how you retreated behind shell when you broke up,  every motherly instinct in me wants to spare you the pain but I also see you with him and I get why he is worth every pain to you . Do you still love him that much " her mother asked and how could she possibly explain that she never could stop loving him .
     
Her love for Arnav wasn't something that could change with time and seasons, it was a constant just like her love for Rahul .
    
" Then why won't you give him a chance Gauri " her mother asked her back, she held on to her doubts for so long that she didn't know if she ever will voice them out yet looking at her mother, she realized there is someone who will accept her words without question.

      
" Because I can't be his wife not in the literal sense, there can be no intimacy between us ma. I will never see that act as anything but painful reminder . How can I hold on to him, if I would keep that part of marriage away from him .
      
Don't tell me, it would get easier or I can overcome it, I talked with my psychologist. Not everyone overcomes what happens to them, they are some who can't ever get over it . What if I am one of them, and how can I ask Arnav to be married to me when I am sure our marriage won't have that important aspect " Gauri answered back, she never voiced it out before in fear anyone would dismiss her concerns but in her mother eyes there was no such thing only tears for her pain .
              
" Oh Gauri " was all she said as Gauri embraced her mother broke into tears . 
         
" Have you told him that? . You can't decide for him beta not like how he decided for you all those years ago ,I heard it from Lekha that he broke off with you because he didn't want you to wait ten years for him if your heart lied anywhere when he was gone , don't decide for him beta. Ask him before you make up your mind "  her mother spoke up before she left the room and yet Gauri didn't want to make him choose a life without intimacy for her .
                 
But she will tell him everything, because her mother was right . He need to know why they can't stay together and maybe it will bring her closure for the lingering hope in her heart.  Yet she selfishly choose to have him by her side till Lavanya's wedding and when it ends she decided to tell him but not a day before the marriage .