Chapter 37 :" New Life "

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" And they lived happily ever after " Gauri words filled her son's room who was already asleep by now and yet she felt compelled to finish the book for reading the single line in the end. It was irrational but she needed the small glimpse of happily ending not because tomorrow is Lavanya wedding and she is finally marrying the man she loves for years but because tomorrow is the deadline she set for her relationship with Arnav as well.

The book she read to her son, involved a Prince slaying dragons and fighting against giants to save the princess trapped in the tower, if only life was filled with such assurance. That love was enough to slay dragons and giants. Because Gauri knows Arnav loves her and she does love him back, but was it enough to over come the obstacles they face at present, she had no idea.

And she didn't like that tomorrow was so near and she still hadn't made up her mind, the last few weeks being with him made her happy, and even believe they may stand a chance and then the doubts creep back in and she get lost on what to do all over again. A Marriage without Physical intimacy, will it stand against test of time, she didn't know but all she knew was that it may have been years but she wasn't ready for that aspect of her life.

For someone who had trouble with normal touch, such intimate act was beyond imaginable. The fact she felt safe in Arnav arms meant she trusted him never to go beyond her comfort zone, her trust in his actions made her feel safe but it would crush her if he wanted more from their marriage and she couldn't give him what he desired, it would break her heart a lot more than when he walked away from her six years back, it would break her heart a lot more than when she married Arun and realized she will never marry him.

But to be married to him and then building a life with him with hopes of future and learning she wasn't enough to keep him happy would kill her heart . And she would never recover from that and yet she refuse to make the decision alone, as her mother said she needs to tell him everything , so they can decide their future together.

Because her life wasn't just hers anymore, it involved her son who is involved with Arnav that even if it didn't work out between them, she had to ask Arnav to ensure that he doesn't walk away from Rahul life immediately , they have to ensure the separation between them affect Rahul the least, it had to be slow and gradual that her son doesn't lose Arnav so soon after Arun's death.

She placed the book she read to Rahul on his book shelf and her eyes found the book she written so long time ago, it was a children's book, something she wrote as a teenager filled with hopes of bright future. When her life got darker, she would pen a story and make the characters get their happiness and would find her happiness with them. She never written anything after Arnav broke up with her.

Because losing him, made her feel like their was no more dream to write about until today. Because in the midst of her fears and insecurities, she also had tiny flicker of hope that maybe she won't lose him again this time, they both were no longer the younger version of themselves who believed they had all the time in the world to determine their life .

Now after all she had went through the last few years, she was more determined to hold on the happiness with both hands and refuse to take what she had with Arnav for granted because the mere glimpse of life she imagined with him. And the happiness she had seen in her son's face were more than reasons enough to hope for a future with him.

It may be the reason, she had stayed awake that night writing or penning down a story of a little frog getting separated from his parents and finding his way back home. Giving the little frog his parents back somehow made her feel better as if she could some how keep her little son from losing Arnav by the sheer will of her words.

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Arnav woke up to chaos and it was given since his whole family were getting ready for the wedding, and Gauri had told him last night that she will come with her family straight to the wedding venue which happened to be the Maheshwari house, as he tried to get up from the bed. His leg acted up as always that he couldn't move for a while. The physical pain had become something he got accustomed to recently because his heart was full with happiness.

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