Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
$$
i had a dream. i got everything i wanted
kairi eventually found out mattia hadn't changed his ways, but to mattias defense, he never told the boy he'd stop; he just said he was sorry. he was sorry but obviously not sorry enough to stop.
once a cheater, always a cheater
kairi had heard that from almost everyone at this point. those words were embedded to his brain now. even after all of that; kairi still felt the same. he still loved mattia no matter what mattia did to show him it wasn't mutual.
kairi just wished they could go back to the times where mattia loved him. truly loved him. because he did. at one point, mattia loved kairi more than kairi loved mattia.
that was kairis dream. that was all kairi wanted.
but when i wake up, i see you with me
kairi turned to his side, looking at mattia. he shook off the tears as he seen mattias body covered with hickeys, he was tired of crying over him. the hickeys obviously weren't from him. mattia reeked of cheap perfume.
kairi reached for his phone and seen alejandro's text from the night before. kairi had texted him last night, venting to him about the nonchalant boy that laid next to him now.
ale <3 : "as long as i'm here, no one can hurt you."
alejandro was always there for kairi. he was there to hold the distressed boy whenever he needed him to. he always trying his best to soothe the boy. kairi appreciated alejandro deeply, more than alejandro knew.
if i could change the way that you see yourself. you wouldn't wonder why you hear, 'they don't deserve you'
some might've of thought that kairi was dumb for believing mattia would changehis savage ways but alejandro didn't think that. he knew kairi deserved better but kairi didn't want better, he wanted mattia. alejandro tried his best to support him with that absurd decision.
"i tried to scream, but my head was underwater"
at this point kairi felt like he should just keep his feelings to himself, i mean he was choosing to do this to himself. he might as well deal with it by himself. he knew alejandro was too nice to tell him off but he knew alejandro was growing tired of the same tale.
they called me weak, like i'm not just somebody's daughter..
he was being criticized by everyone other than ale, for his decisions. they didn't understand him. he needed mattia, he loved him too much to let him go no matter how much he wanted to leave him.
but it felt like like they were right there and it feels like yesterday was a year ago
mattia woke up, instantly reaching for kairi wanting to hug him. that day, mattia gave kairi hope again. the way mattia was treating him, kairi felt like his old mattia was back. he instantly forgot about the marks mattia had on his body from the day before: yesterday.
but i don't wanna let anybody know cause everybody wants something from me now, i don't wanna let them down.
mattia was only acting like this because he planning on letting kairi go the following day. alejandro had reached out to mattia. they talked, alejandro advising mattia to stop hurting the poor boy in the middle of all this mess. ale tried to explain to mattia what he was doing to kairi wasn't right: it was far from it.
if i knew it all then, would i do it again?
mattia realized what he was doing was wrong that night with ale. he was feeding onto kairis attachment to him. he thought it was time to let the poor boy go or change his ways. he finally noticed how fucked up he had kairi, that was never what he wanted. he didn't know how he let it go on for this long.
he was hurting the boy he loved so much at one point. he never realized why he stopped loving him. mattia had his own unresolved issues, he couldn't have anyone depend on him; certainly not kairi either. maybe if he had fixed them before meeting kai, they wouldn't be going through this now.
if they knew what they said would go straight to my head, what would they say instead?
it was now the following day. kairi smiled as he woke up remembering the events from last night. there was something in the air that night. the way mattia was making love to him felt different, it felt like finally after a year, mattia was showing him his true emotions. he felt mattia try to tell him something by the way he pushed into him. the way he looked down at him; there was something in his eyes. something he hadn't seen in months. this felt good. he felt like they were finally good.
there was definitely something there. the talk alejandro gave mattia made him realize about how amazing kairi truly was. he was going to try to get help so he could better himself for his boyfriend. sure, after the talk with ale he went to hook up with somebody else: but it was the last time he would ever do that.
his plan on letting kairi go changed, he was too selfish to do that. he knew he could never find anybody that would love him the way kairi did, hold it down for him the way kairi did. he told alejandro he was leaving kairi but that's not what he was going to do atlast.
he really wanted to make things right with kairi. he was going to make up for everything he had done to kairi somehow. mattia knew deep down there was no way the love he previously had for kairi went away out of nowhere. it was still there, he just had to search for it.
he wanted kairi, nobody had ever showed mattia this type of loyalty. that was his unresolved issue: loyalty. how could mattia have or show loyalty if it was never showed to him? not even by the people closest to him. but kairi did. he showed him.
mattia knew he was going to marry the boy even if it was the last thing he did. he deserved the best and mattia was going to give it to him.
