𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ; 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈

𝔊𝔢𝔱 𝔜𝔬𝔲

𝓓𝓪𝓷𝓲𝓮𝓵 𝓒𝓪𝓮𝓼𝓪𝓻 𝓯𝓽. 𝓚𝓪𝓵𝓲 𝓤𝓬𝓱𝓲𝓼 : 𝓖𝓮𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾

1:05  ───|────── 4:38
|◁              II             ▷|
                          ∞            ↺

$$

"through drought and famine, natural disasters; my baby around for me."

being terminally ill wasnt mattia's plan.

it sucked living like this. it was such a horrid feeling to fall asleep scared that it might be the last time you close your eyes willingly, scared that you might not wake up the next morning. but there was kairi. mattia's baby, who made the little bit of life he had left, wonderful, along with his parents and gianluca. they meant the absolute world to him.

he truly was going to miss the four of them so much.

"kingdoms have fallen, angels be callin. none of that could ever make me leave."

kairi was living day to day heartbroken, knowing that the love of his life wasn't going to be there one day. it was hard but he could never leave mattia, not like this. it hurt that the best thing that had ever happened to him, was going to be taken away from him. it hurt even more that he didn't know when that day would come, it could happen the following day for all he knew. he was scared, he wasn't prepared to lose mattia yet.

"everytime i look into your eyes, i see it; you're all i need. every time i get a bit inside, i feel it."

mattia adored kairi, so much. he wanted kairi to know how much he loved him before he couldn't anymore.

everyone advised mattia to live his life to the fullest and experience things before he left permanently but he refused. mattia knew he didn't have time on his side, but he didn't care. he wanted to spend the rest of his short life, with kairi. in his eyes, kairi was all he needed.

"who would've thought i'd get you?"

he felt so lucky to have someone like kairi. kairi had the boy beyond in love. he was grateful to have the chance to love someone as amazing as kairi. loving kairi would be last thing he would do. he wouldn't have it any other way.

"and when we're making love, your cries, they can be heard from far and wide."

they made sure they did it every single time they had the chance. they did it everywhere and anywhere. at last, they didn't know how many encounters they had left. mattia did his best every single time. he wanted kairi to remember the most intimate things about him.

"it's only the two of us, everything i need is between those thighs."

moments like these were all he needed right now. he wasn't taking any second he had left for granted. he was sure to enjoy them. he loved having the power to make kairi feel amazing. he felt like he owed it to him, before having to leave him forever.

"every time i look into your eyes, i see it. you're all i need."

kairi thought mattia didn't see his sadness and desperation, but he did, he just didn't want kairi to know. he knew kairi would beat himself up about it. kairi just wanted to make mattia feel comfortable. he wanted mattia to feel loved. that's all kairi wanted. he wanted mattia to feel fulfilled. yet kairi was all he needed to feel fulfilled.

...

"and i'll take some time just to be thankful that i had days full of you, you.

kairi spent every second of everyday with mattia. he made everyday count. he felt selfish, but he wanted every moment he could have with mattia.

"before it winds down into the memories, it's all just memories now."

they made memory after memory. mattia wanted kairi to always remember him. he wanted him to remember the love they shared. the ethereal love they shared. kairi made sure their last couple of moments together, were everything. and they were everything to mattia.

"this feels like summer, boy you make me feel so alive."

mattia felt so alive around kairi even though he was dying slowly. kairi was the only one who wasn't treating him like he was fragile. he wanted to enjoy the rest of his life as normally as he could and they weren't helping, only kairi was. they didn't understand him like kairi did.

one of the many reasons mattia loved kairi.

"just be my lover, boy you'll lead me to paradise."

he wasn't scared to die anymore, he just felt guilty leaving behind his family and his kairi. he tried his best to make kairi happy and feel deeply loved these last couple of months. he hoped his lover would always remember him but he didn't want kairi sad forever, he wanted kairi to fall in love again.

...

mattia felt his last moments approaching, he knew he didn't have much time left. he didn't want kairi to see him suffer or be in pain but at the same time, he needed him there. he wanted him there so he could tell kairi how much he loved him until he took his very last breath.

and he did, kairi lead mattia into paradise, holding him in his arms.

$$

currently bawling right now but i did this to myself.