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$$ - kairi's intersex in this.
𝐤𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢'𝐬 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞
i placed the pregnancy test on the bathroom floor, next to me. i was anxious for the results, i already knew what the test was going to say but i just wanted to make sure.
it was going to say positive, i had this fluttery feeling for a while now. at first, i thought it was apart of the greiving i was going through due to the fact that my husband was dead.
dead.
but it wasn't, we had been trying to get pregnant the month before mattia had been taken away from me. mattia wanted me off birth control for as long as i could remember, so i had finally given in, wanting to give him what he wanted.
he was so excited, he would come home everyday with a pregnancy test in hand for me to take. we would just get our hopes up for nothing, they would all come back negative. it was starting to hurt me, thinking my body wasn't stable enough to carry our child.
mattia always tried to reassure me that it was totally okay if i couldn't get pregnant, that we could always adopt, but deep down i knew he was hurt but he was too sweet to let me know that. that's one of the millions things i loved about my baby.
𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚞𝚙𝚋𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚌𝚊𝚗'𝚝
i was shaking, anyone else in my place would be ecstatic. but i just couldn't help myself, mattia should be beside me right now holding my hand as we waited but he wasn't. it hurt, it truly did hurt. i wouldn't wish this on anybody.
𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖 𝚏𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚛, 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐
it had now passed the 5 minute mark but i was still hesitant to look over or even pick up the test. the moment i turned that test, my life would change even more. i had so much recent change i didn't know how i could handle another change.
i closed my eyes and took a deep breath as i reached for the test, it was now or never. my heart was pounding at this point. i finally opened my eyes and looked at it.
