The Devil With The Face of an Angel | Irondad, pepperony

Chapter 10

It was a rainy night. There was a storm outside the windows and a strong wind bent the tree branches. He pounded the windows, as did the raindrops that slipped on the glass and fell on the dirty window sills. There was a flash of lightning in the sky and then thundered. Peter woke up, with tears on his cheeks, confusion in his mind, anxiety in his heart. He was all sweaty of the uneasy dreams that had begun to chase him, in which his mother played the main role, calling for him and pleading with him before evil swallowed her.

Thunder rumbled outside. Peter winced, his brown eyes wide, and pulled his blanket up to his chin. He looked around the room. The shadows looked ominous, creeping toward him like monsters, maybe one was hiding under the bed, waiting for his leg to stick out from under the duvet. Street lights illuminated his toys, which looked completely different in the dark than in daylight.

When it rained even more and thundered in the distance, Peter couldn't stand it anymore. He quickly slipped out of bed and ran into the next room where Pepper slept, with whom he stayed for a few days.

"Pepper, I'm scared," Peter whimpered, climbed up to her bed, and tugged at the hem of the blanket. Pepper mumbled something quietly from her sleep and turned to her side. Carefully he reached for her shoulder and squeezed it. "Pepper," he repeated louder, finally waking her up.

She opened her eyes and looked a little disoriented. When her gaze fixed on anxious Peter, she quickly sat up. "Peter! What's happening, why don't you sleep? Does anything hurt you?" she asked immediately, and all the fatigue was gone. She carefully wiped his wet cheeks, still bearing tears.

"I'm scared. I had nightmares and I don't like storms," he replied, lowering his eyes a little ashamed. "Can I sleep here with you? Please. I promise not to kick you," he swore. Pepper laughed softly and spread her arms, which he slipped into quickly. She cuddled a little with him and rocked him like a little child. He smelled of almonds (probably because she had washed him with her shower gel) and childhood innocence.

  "You're very nice to me. I love you," he said, leaning against her chest, closing his eyes. Pepper's heart warmed and she gripped him harder.

  "I love you too, sweetheart. I will always love you," she whispered, then kissed his hair. Peter fell asleep, a small smile still playing on his face. 

  She gently laid him down and covered him to the neck. Then she watched him for a while before she lay down and hugged him, trying to protect him from all the bad. She watched the little, innocent child, who had lost one of the most important things he was entitled to; to maternal love. 

•••

"I miss my mom," Peter said suddenly at breakfast, still digging in colored cereals. Pepper paused, looked away from her coffee mug, and lost her eyes to the little boy. "I miss my daddy and I miss you, too, even when I'm still at your house. I don't want you to leave, Pepper. I don't want my dad to leave me. Did she leave because of me? Did I do something wrong?" His eyes filled with tears and the look panged Pepper. She did not realize that the young child could perceive that. Tony and he each loved Mary in a different way, but they suffered the same.

"Oh, sweetheart," she shook her head slowly, got up from the table, and walked up to him. She knelt in front of his chair to be on the same eye level as he did, and gently lifted his chin. "It's not your fault. It wasn't your fault. I don't know how to explain it to you, munchkin. I don't know too much detail myself. Maybe they had a big fight with your father about something serious. Maybe she did something that he couldn't trust her anymore, you know? Or realized she couldn't give you what you deserve and desire. Maybe she wanted to save you from more pain, and so did your dad. He cares so much about you."

"Then why isn't he with me?" he asked puzzled. She wiped his tears and smiled.

"He's still very sad."

"I would like to be with him. I'd help him."

"I have no doubts about it. Just... people deal with their sadness and various problems differently, you know? And sometimes they don't choose the best way. They can bother the surroundings and themselves. Once you understand it all, you will see," she assured him, but in secret, she wished he would never have to fight anything like that. Suddenly she turned into a slightly cheerful note. "So, have you eaten? What if we caught up with Dad? I'm sure he'll be happy to see you and we will see if he needs anything."

•••

Tony vowed to take Pepper's words to heart. She was right, this was pointless. He must be strong and overcome it. Others made it, he can do it too. He cannot drown his grief in alcohol forever. He must not forget to live and slowly build a wall between himself and his son. Not because of Mary. He must not allow her to destroy him and take from him what he had.

He asked Pepper to take Peter for a few days. She agreed and told him she was glad he finally realized it. He hoped he could make it and that Peter would have no reason to be ashamed of his father. He wasn't sure how such a rehab on his own would work. Oftentimes he wanted to drink a glass or two, but he knew he wouldn't stay there. Whenever he passed the glass cabinet, his hand twitched and wanted to grab one bottle. He would have to get rid of them. He would have to ask Pepper if she could help him with it.

He drank a lot of water and coffee and was constantly busy with something to prevent negative thoughts and taste for alcohol. He had to control himself, he had to win. He was cleaning up, finally getting rid of things after Mary, though it was terribly hard. At such times, the taste for alcohol was incredibly big.

It exhausted him, but he was happier every day he did not touch alcohol. Soon it was Peter's third birthday. Tony decorated the room, prepared sandwiches, bought and packed gifts, and bought a cake. He hoped he would like it. After all, Mary was more skilled in such things.

And then they came. Tony was nervous, but nervousness suddenly disappeared as Peter released Pepper's hand, lit up, and ran into his father's arms. Tony hugged him close. He missed him so much. He must never let him go again.

Peter was not very interested in gifts that day. He was happy to be with his dad again. He entertained Pepper and Tony with all sorts of talk, and the three of them felt like a family for a moment.

"Happy birthday, kid. I promise you everything will be better from now on," Tony whispered to him as he put sleepy Peter in his bed in the evening. He could only smile and then fall asleep.

Pepper was still waiting in the living room, ready to leave. They both smiled at each other. "I'm glad you made it," she told him.

"Without you, it would take me terribly long to realize it," he shook his head. "And then it might be too late. Thank you for watching Peter. And that you gave me time to recover from it. It's hard and I know it will take some time, but I think... I think I can handle it."

"Of course, you can. You got Peter. And if you need anything, I'm here for you," she said, squeezing his hand. "You won't lose what belongs to you, Tony. But what doesn't belong to you won't hold it."