There's like a little bug in my head, a constant mantra that I have to do everything all the time. That I have to accomplish everything, walk through every open door, take on any and every challenge I face head on.
I have a fear that I'm going to die one day and never do all the things I wanted to do, wanted to learn, wanted to see. I wake up in the morning with a million things I want to do in a day, and tear myself apart if I don't complete each item on the itinerary.
It's both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because it's fun, to try everything and get involved in everything and I get so many new experiences and meet so many new people and have so much fun.
A curse because I can't do everything. I can't do everything. When a person says "everything," it means infinite. Infinite possibilities. And when I think to myself, "I want to do everything," I do. I want to see everything. I want to try everything. I want to be everything. A part of me wants every single experience this life can offer.
I want to give this world everything I can offer.
But everything is limitless. I like to think I am limitless. I'm not limitless.
There is nothing more in this world that scares me than nothing. Doing nothing. Being nothing. I want to be everything.
Everything is impossible.
But I like to think I can beat the impossible.
And that, in itself, is what I know may just one day lead to my own destruction.
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Serenity - A Journal Of Some Sort
RandomThey tell me that what I create is chaos. But what I create is the only thing that brings me serenity. ~ warning: this book abruptly switches from deep personal narratives to really random stuff so hop on and enjoy the ride
