The Phoenix Ghost

Where Do We Go From Here?

Me and my fur baby... We will always love you, Seraphina (24.04.09-07.06.20) 💋

Thanks for your patience while I got my head straight after losing my sweet fur baby Monday morning. I really appreciate you all - those who sent words of condolence and those who were patient for the next chapter too. 💋

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Sean lay on his bed staring at a frozen frame of Sang playfully kissing Rin, Rin giggling, from the recorded conversation with Sang. It's been two days since we spoke with Sang and Iris and saw our children for the first time.

The atmosphere in the Blackbourne house has been a combination of grief and hope. Each of us deep in our own thoughts.

For most of us, the thoughts centre around our pleasure in our children and what we can do to rebuild trust individually and as a team with Sang. We have also realised that we will all need to build relationships with Iris and Bjorne Mackinen, as well as strengthening our relationships with the Tomas and Phil Roberts. For some of us, that is going to be very hard to swallow.

Nathan and North have been very vocal about feeling the Tomas had broken the brotherhood code by moving in on Sang after we left. The rest of us have told them repeatedly to get over it; if her relationships with the Tomas made things easier for Sang, we are happy they are with her. Jealousy is a toxic thing for those two though. Both Luke and I have warned them they risk damaging their relationship further with Sang if they can't move past their anger at the men who've helped her grow into a woman and mother.

The reconnection between Vasily Ravensthal with his brother, Raven has made client discussions much less difficult. Unfortunately the assignment itself is proving very challenging. The head of the snake of the drug syndicate infiltrating Estonia is proving very illusive.

Each time the team has come close to who we believe to be the mastermind, they disappear. It's as if we are being played with, taunted. Which frankly, I don't understand. Their issue is with the Ravensthal Bratva, not the Blackbournes after all. We don't feel we've made much headway on eradicating their criminal presence in Estonia and it's been eleven months. This frustration is made worse by the knowledge that every day spent on this assignment is another day that Sang and the children settle more into a life without us.

Victor recorded all the conversations, including the interaction between Vasily and Raven. We've all watched the section with Sang, particularly the introduction to the septs, dozens of times. As the conversation wound down, we had asked Sang if we could send the video file to Uncle and Erica. Sang seemed uncomfortable but Iris had blown up at them,

'Do you even know what they said to Sang that morning?' She'd raged. The Blackbournes could hear the Tomas quickly removing the septs from the room and realised Iris was about to erupt on them,

'Erica told Sang that our poly lifestyle was not normal or healthy and that you each wanting a wife of your own was correct behaviour. She made Sang feel bad about herself when she asked why would nine boys want to share one girl like she was the one who perverted you 'innocent' boys,' Kota had cringed. Erica had mentioned that she'd said some potentially unforgivable things to Sang, but he hadn't realised she'd attacked their lifestyle and inferred Sang was a slut for being with the nine them. That last, he knew, was already a trigger for Sang,

'And Uncle!' It was North and Luke's turn to look horrified,

'He told Sang he always knew she would be responsible for separating you from your families! He told her she was selfish and had only considered her needs and not the needs of your family! How the fuck do you think that affected Sang after you lot had already betrayed her by leaving when you promised you never would? And she was two months pregnant...' Iris was furious, but she was also near tears at this point and Sang pulled her in for hug before stoping her sister's tirade,