pipsqueak. → kuroo x reader

17.

"The new girl?"

Oh shit.

Shit.

This quick motherfucker didn't miss that, fuck why is he the one guy on earth who listens?

      "Yeah. I mean like newly single girl." You tried that lie on for size. It wasn't really a lie, it was true that you were newly single this year just it wasn't what you were talking about.

       "Because you were with your ex?" Kuroo tilted his head. He knew. He knew, you saw his face scrunch up in confusion. The jig was up. You couldn't live your daydream anymore, "But I thought you said it was just your first couple of months at school?"

      "Uh, yeah. And um..." You glanced at him then away. You were panicking and your hands were your obvious tell. It always has, the bane of your existence will be the way your hands get all clammy when you lie or try to hide the truth. You could pretend to be badass and a real tough cookie all day long, but your morals will always seep through the palms of your hands.

      Kuroo took the opportunity to run his hand down your forearm and smoothly glide his fingers between the gaps of your own. He held your hand, rubbed his thumb on the other side, "You're hiding something. You don't have to tell me. I don't want to overwhelm you. But if it would make you feel less alone, no matter how dumb it is I'd love to listen. But I can't guarantee I won't laugh."

      Your heart melted it's frozen cage around it. He wasn't pressuring you for answers, he knew something was wrong without you telling him. This asshole was checking every box on the checklist and it was so annoying. You huffed and kept your face turned. But you didn't let go of his hand, you squeezed it tighter instead and felt comfort in that.

     This is short lived.

     That's right, theres's no time to be living this daydream anymore. Better to get this rejection sooner rather than later and hurt the both of you more.

     "There is something. I don't really know how you'll take it." You spoke softly, letting go of his hand to pull the blanket tighter around your shoulders. "Don't feel bad if afterwards you don't want to be my friend. But it would have to come out sooner than later."

      She's being dramatic, it can't be that bad. Kuroo thought.

      No turning back.

      "I knew who you were when we met. I didn't really know anything about you because when I went to Nekoma I didn't really engage in any part of the social hierarchy. Because I was gone most of the time anyways, and one time when I came back I learned there had been a rumor that spread about me being a sex worker and a drug dealer and that's why I was always gone. I guess too," you started to laugh a little, "it wasn't that far off from what I was. I did almost everything for Doom's Crew. He used to say I was doing it for 'our' followers, but they were his. I was just so desperate for a sense of belonging and love I'd do anything he asked me. But once they asked me to do things I couldn't, I came clean to my mom about everything, She had me transfer schools and start fresh at Karasuno. I didn't mean to lie to you, really. I just had already started over, I was me again for the first time in forever and there was someone in front of me who only knew me as that. And it's not like I thought I would see you again, let alone hang out so much and really start to lik... I think I liked pretending that last year didn't really happen. But it's like when I'm with you I can't run anymore. So yeah. The too long didn't read version: I used to go to Nekoma and I was a top member of The Doom Riders."

       Kuroo didn't say anything. He just absorbed the new information that fit into the missing pieces of the puzzle that was you. His face was expressionless while he hid the lower half by pushing it into his palm and supported his elbow by crossing his right arm under his armpit. The silence from him only raised your heartbeat, it urged you to keep talking word vomit.