Just My Thoughts

ever felt fuck this shit I'm out on a spiritual level?

Yeah, Idk how to frame my current feelings about everything better than this.

Tbh I've been...sad lately. Not exactly devastated or emotionally distressed, just sad. Sometimes things just become too much for you. I have no idea how I feel or want to feel right now. I want to cry but I can't cry cause my fucking tear glands aren't working, I want to laugh all the time but I don't have enough energy. Seriously the only time I'm genuinely happy or lively is when I'm talking to you all.

I have no idea how am I even functioning these days lol.

I've grown up practically scared of everything so now that I have a place where I can put my thoughts out there without giving a shit, it's kinda freaking me out to the point that now I'm scared of this place too.

I feel tired. Really tired. I wanna stay aloof in a quiet place, hoping no one talks to me, that's how I've been feeling for a lot of days now. I don't have a purpose for any of this I'm just simply living my life, going with the flow that's how it is with me but sometimes I really wonder if this will go on forever.

I don't want to do something 'cause I have to. I wanna do something 'cause I want to but I don't even know what I want.

I sure complain a lot about my life right? I'm sorry 😅🤣

To think that two years ago things were totally different from now, it feels like I stepped into another dimension or something. I miss you all, those who are here and those who aren't as well. I miss all that chaos that I got so used to that I forgot it'll never last forever. Honestly, I always thought about how long will this mirage last.

Tf am I talking about again 😆. Anyways, so there's that, what I feel, a wholeass rant.