rockstar || jaden hossler

22

rockstar
ellie
please let me explain
i'm so sorry
i don't know what i was thinking
i know you are reading these
please just answer me

butterfly
i don't want to hear it jaden.
you promised me i would never have to
worry about her, but yet the second she
comes around again you we're making out
with her. it was like i didn't matter. if you
didn't want to be with me then you
should have just said so.

rockstar
i don't know what i was thinking.
maybe it was just the alcohol, but i don't really
remember much from last night, and i will never
forgive myself for doing what i did to you. i know we weren't official, but i was planning on asking you soon,  but now i screwed up every chance i ever had of being with you. i'm so fucking sorry.

butterfly
i'm sorry things didn't turn out the way we had hoped that they would. if things had turned out differently then we would probably be together , but i don't know how the hell i am supposed to continue a relationship with someone the minute that they drink or their ex comes around just can turn around that easily and cheat . i know we were together officially, but we were practically a fucking couple jaden. i guess i really didn't mean that much to you , if it was that easy to turn around and fuck mads. And don't you dare say you didn't fuck her because i saw her leaving this morning. it just hurts that you couldn't just tell me you weren't interested in me like that. i'm sorry things had to come to this, but i just don't think i can trust you anymore jaden.

rockstar
i will never forgive myself for this. i'm so sorry that i did this to you. you deserve the world and more and clearly i can't give that to you. i feel like the biggest fucking asshole in the world for what i did, and i will have to live with what i did the rest of my life. i hate myself for it , and i am sure you do to. like i wouldn't blame you if you never wanted to speak or talk to me ever again. i'm sure you hate my guts. i'm the worst person alive for hurting such and amazing girl. i want nothing more than to be with you, but i truly know that i am not worthy enough of you. you deserve so much better.

butterfly
i don't hate you jaden. yeah i may be heartbroken, but i could never hate you. you are not a horrible person, everyone makes mistakes because we are all human. but it just hurts that you know it was really hard for me to open up to a guy, due to my past relationship experiences. i have really bad anxiety and trust issues when it comes to guys and you knew that. yet you still managed to do what i was so scared of happening and you broke that promise you made to me when you told me you would never be like the other guys. i've been abused, used, cheated on, manipulated, and that's the reason i moved out to la, was to start fresh, but clearly this isn't fresh anymore. maybe someday in the future we will find our way back to each other, but if not maybe it just wasn't meant to be. i want you to live your life to the fullest and just be happy. you will always be my rockstar jae :)

rockstar
you're right, maybe we will find out way back to each other some day. i want you to just be happy, and always follow your dreams no matter what. i  hope we can still be friends though. i hope you find someone who truly makes you happy and treats you like you deserve to be treated. you will always be my butterfly el :)