If I have Nothing (Absinthe Series 5)

Kabanata 35

Kabanata 35

If I Have Nothing

I spent my days observing my body. It had been acting different lately since I started gaining weight. Mas napapansin kong mas lalong ndadagdagan ang aking timbang kahit limitado naman ang aking kinakain. I also missed my period last month, at last week dapat ay darating na ngunit wala pa rin.

"Mommy," I called for her when I entered the kitchen. Umuwi ako sa bahay dahil wala si Rhett. He said he'll be dealing with something important that's why he couldn't come home with me.

"Syden?" she glanced at me, "Umuwi ka pala. Hinatid ka ni Rhett?"

"Hindi po." Umupo ako sa mataas na stool. "He's busy with something, 'My."

"What's the problem?" she noticed my expression. Nababahala na kasi ako. It wasn't normal for me to gain weight and have acnes on my face. Alam kong pwedeng dahil lang sa fats iyon o baka dahil stress ako, pero hindi naman dapat ganito kalala.

I sometimes avoid talking to Rhett because these acnes looked disgusting. And then, I was developing thin facial hairs,too. Mayroon din sa aking tiyan.

"Mommy, last month pa po ako hindi dinadatnan." I started. Pinagsalikop ko ang aking mga kamay.

"Did you do it with Rhett?" she asked curiously.

Namilog ang aking mga mata. "P-po? 'My, that's—

She cut me off with a chuckle. "That's okay, anak. You're married although I much prefer na sana graduate ka muna ng college bago niyo gawin iyon."

Namula ako. I sank myself deeper on the seat because of embarrassment.

"Mommy, eighteen pa lang po ako. I don't want to get involve with things like that even though I am married. And mom, this is serious. Ngayong buwan din po, wala rin."

"Oh," her face fell. Lumapit siya sa akin at sinipat ang aking mukha. I gave her an edge to my face and show her my pimples.

"And these acnes suddenly just appeared on my face. Minamabuti ko naman po ang paghihilamos palagi. I don't always miss a thing."

"And you've gained weight too much, anak. Should we set an appointment to the doctor?"

"Iyon nga po sana. I think it's not normal to have these reactions all in one. I've searched for some of these symptoms and they pointed to an endocrine system syndrome." I explained. Bumuntong-hininga si Mommy at niyakap ako.

It was actually a bit heavy to the heart when my mom started worrying. Nagpatawag agad siya ng doctor at nagpa-set ng appointment. That afternoon, we went to seek for a doctor's diagnosis. We were referred to an obstetrician gynecologist because they need to check on my reproductive system.

I was subjected for a pelvic ultrasound since it's not advisable for a virgin like me to undergo transvaginal ultrasound.  Ayaw kong tumingin sa screen but the doctor was serious about telling me that my hunch mayne right. That I had researched was right.

Humigpit ang hawak ko sa kamay ni Mommy nang ipakita na sa akin ang imahe ng aking ultrasound. The doctor was already examining it and then, she looked at me.

"The symptoms you were showing indicates a problem in your endocrine system that also affects your reproductive, Ms. Costello."

"So, it can be a PCOS?" I asked curiously.

Tumango siya, "It is definitely PCOS considering the image of your ovaries.  Your body doesn't make enough hormones for you to ovulate, thus the missed periods. When this happens, it creates this small fluid sacs called cysts, but it's not cancerous. The cysts produce hormones called androgens, which are most often are in large amount for males. Sa mga babae ay mayroon din pero kaunti lang. If androgens are produced too much in the body, it could affect your menstrual cycle and thus the development of Polycystic Ovary Syndrome."