If I have Nothing (Absinthe Series 5)

Kabanata 37

Kabanata 37

If I Have Nothing

"Are you still taking your meds?" tanong sa akin ni Mommy nang pumasok siya sa aking kwarto. I was folding some of my old clothes. Ang balak ko kasi ay ipamimigay ko na iyon sa mga bata sa orphanage.

"Yes, 'My. Do I look better now?"

She smiled and sat beside me. "Oo naman. I can see improvements in your body."

"Can we visit the doctor later po?"

"Yes, of course. But Syden,"

"Po?" I stared at my mother's eyes only to find worry in them.

"Have you told Rhett?"

I sighed heavily. I know she'll be worried about that too. Kaming dalawa lang kasi ni Mommy ang nakakaalam sa kondisyon ko. Ang sabi ko kay Mommy ay hayaan akong sabihin iyon kina Daddy sa tamang panahon. I don't want a lot of people to know. I don't want them to worry or be scared because there's nothing to be scared about.

Kung hindi man ako magkaanak, there's always an option.

"Guessing that reaction, I guess not? Anak, alam mo namang malalaman at malalaman din niya, hindi ba?"

"Alam ko po, 'My. Humahanap lang naman po ako ng tyempo para sabihin sa kaniya. It's also hard to hide something like this from him lalo na po at nagkakamabutihan na kaming dalawa."

"I am happy that both of you are having a good relationship. Ang ayaw ko lang naman ay masira iyon dahil naglilihim ka sa kaniya. You two are a family now. Hayaan mong malaman ni Rhett para masuportahan ka niya."

Mommy has a point but I am worried that Rhett might share the burden with me. Ayaw ko muna lalo pa't marami na siyang inaasikaso. That's why I am also buying my time while he's busy. Ayaw kong madagdagan iyong iniisip niya.

When I was worried about the changes in my body, he was worried too. Kasama ko siya sa pagpupuyat habang inaalala ko  ang kondisyon ng katawan ko. He would always listen to my every whims, lalo na iyong nararanasan ko ring pambu-bully sa akin ng ibang kaklase. Not all of my classmates were concern of my sudden physical changes, may ibang nagtatanong at alam kong sincere naman iyon. But sometimes I can't help but think that the others might say that I'm on some kind of drugs because I looked different.

Sinubukan ko namang makausap si Rhett pero palagi na siyang may ginagawa. Marami ang naging bilib sa kaniyang disenyo na agad na siyang kinukuha bilang parte ng team. He would stay over the night in the company, trying to finish a part. May mga revisions pa iyon na hindi agad-agad nagagawa kaya natatagalan siya. And with their band having it's glamour in the show business world, it was hard to keep up with him.

Parang unti-unti ang layo na niya.

"Happy Valentine's!" I kissed Rhett's cheek, "I love you."

Ngumisi siya at niyakap ang aking baywang. He stared at me lovingly with his mesmerizing grayish silver eyes. Our noses bumped to each other. He teased me before planting a kiss on my lips.

"Happy Valentine's. I love you too."

After Valentine's Day, everything was back to the way it was before. Naging busy ako dahil sa incoming exams. Kung saan nakaluwag-luwag si Rhett, doon naman ako busy. But he was patient to review me all night long hanggang sa makatulog kaming dalawa.

We had a date in Tagaytay after the exams. Namasyal lang naman kami pero di naman nagtagal dahil baka may makakilala sa kaniya. Despite the busy schedules, they already have plans to visit every region to promote their band. Tuwing Sabado iyon at naging Linggo-linggo na ang kaniyang pag-alis.