Unattainable Fruit

Naps and Touches

Cody's POV

     I sit up from the bed, looking down beside me as James sleeps peacefully. I know I should be knocked out just the same as him but my body is just not trying to stay still. The feeling of his bare hands on my back were so tantalizing that my... mini me started stirring awake instantly, almost giving me a flipping heart attack. I tried to hide it as best I could, ignoring it heavily so that it wouldn't leak into my scent. But Goddess knows that the way he kept touching me and caressing my body as sweet and nice had me wanting to arch into his hand.

     All these feelings are new and my hands are  fluttering about in nervousness. What if my heat is coming? Is it normal to be turned on even without your heat? I'm a mumbling mess and I sit there and look as my handsome Mate, laying my hand on his chest to smooth out the frown that had formed when I moved away from him to sit up.

      Besides even if this was normal, I know James doesn't want that. The whole.....intercourse thing. He thinks no one notices but I see how he flinches at contact from people he doesn't know even if they're in the pack. I see how even if it's his life long friend or especially his parents when they're in town, how his body tenses up during interaction. So far I haven't seen any of these reactions towards me but I don't want to accidentally try and kiss him only for him to push me away. My eyes water at the thought of him being upset with me. Oh moly. The memes I see is true, gay panic is real.

     I cover my mouth with my hand so that my scared whimpers don't reach the air, but it's like James can feel my distress in his sleep, his body stirring almost instantly as I start crying and shaking.

     "Hey, little bean. What's wrong?" He says sleepily as he struggles to sit up. He pulls me back into his lap and curls his arms around me soothingly. I bury my head beneath his neck, loving how concentrated the smell of him is here. How safe I feel. My body instantly begins to relax at being so close and curled up around my Mate, loving how he always knows how to take care of me.

     His hands come up again reaching inside my shirt to rub my back and I start to panic. I try to crawl out of his lap but the stupid strong wolf won't let me.

     "Cody what's wrong? You don't want me to touch you?" He asks and the saddened tone of his voice and the way his arms around me go lax has me halting in my failed attempt to escape in embarrassment. I turn back to sit back in James' lap and look at him, bringing up my hand to physically smooth out his forehead.

     "I-I-I do! But...." I pause cheeks aflame at the thoughts running through my head. What if after this he doesn't want me anymore? What if he kicks me out of his room? James grabs my face between his hands pulling my head down into the crook of his neck and I instantly begin to feel better, not only because of the smell, but because I don't have to look at him when I know the look of disappointment that probably will be there will break my sensitive heart.

     "Did I hurt you? Do something wrong?"

I shake my head rapidly, hating how scared I am to say something to defend him and just tell him the truth. I close my eyes and bury myself deep in his chest before I even think about opening my mouth. "I like it too much." I answer him, my voice feather light and smothered by his chest.

"Like what too much, bean? I don't understand." The confusion and hurt in his tone is enough to make me take a steely breath and finally answer him.

"Your t-touch. I-I like it's too much-ch." I awkwardly stumble out my cheeks burning so hot, I'm scared I popped something. James stiffens a bit and I instantly hate myself until I feel his chest shaking. Frowning I lean back slightly to see his face and I see him looking up at the ceiling trying to hold in his laughter. I gasp, slapping his chest before putting turning away from his handsome face. Stupid handsome wolf finding humor in my distress.