Unattainable Fruit

Healing and Questions

James' POV

     Once we got home last night Jessie let Cody come back and my small bean cried into my arms for hours until he finally settled down. He didn't ask about what happened after Jessie took over, and I didn't tell.

       I think we all know that this is one of those things that Cody doesn't need to know.

      The sun is rising over the horizon and neither of us have been to sleep. There haven't been any nightmares or really any talking, we've just watched each other through the night, soaking in each other's company and proximity. I called the school last night and explained the situation, and they we all agreed that it would be best if we finished out the school year at home.

      Cody had rejoiced over that, making a joke about not having to get up early but all I could think about is how I should've let him stay home yesterday instead of forcing him to go to school.

     And suddenly, I have an idea on what we can do this week, after we take care of some much needed business.

     My eyes are far away as I think to myself about yesterday and all the things that I have to get done. In fact, I'm so caught up in my head that when Codys hand comes up to touch my cheek the feeling makes me jump harshly making him frown softly.

      "Where were you?" He asks me referring to where my mind was when I drifted off and I pull his small body into mine before kissing his forehead softly making him sigh.

"No where important." I tell him and he hums his acknowledgment though doesn't ask any other questions. I raise my hand up to come settle in his chocolate curls, shifting through the strands just as I know he likes it as my gaze falls in to the coloring sky, the view a dull grey as the world begins to wake up.

"What did it feel like?" Cody asks me and I raise my brow even though he can't see it, wondering what he's talking about.

"What did what feel like?" I ask him and he shocks me with his answer.

"When I started to reject you. I know I was supposed to be sleep for that part but I tried to convince myself to be strong and wake back up. I wish I would have stayed asleep." He tells me and my heart clenches, heart broken that my sensitive bean had to witness one of the scariest things someone could ever go through.

"Well." I start, my voice coming out choked and it takes an effort to clear it though it's impossible to swallow the lump that jumps up my throat at the memory of those words coming from my lovers mouth. "Imagine a knife stabbing you in two separate places, one your heart the other your Mark."

I begin to explain to Cody that way it felt, and I raise my eyes to the ceiling in an effort to stop my tears from falling, not wanting him to feel guilty for something he had to do.

"It was this stabbing searing pain that started in two places and was starting to come together towards my core where they say your soul lies. I could hear you say them as you did and it made me howl out in pain. And suddenly everything stopped but my body still felt like it was on fire, just a calmer one. I'm still sore from it. And my Mark is red." I tell him, trying to keep the tone light with such a heavy topic.

"It was your howl that stopped Jessie. He knew you were almost there. That's when I forced myself back to sleep. I saw who it was though." He tells me quietly and I can feel his small hands shaking against my side as he recalls the few terrifying moments he was present for.