Epilogue

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Two months.

That's how long it took for Kurapika to speak again. That's how long it took for Chrollo to be able to show his face in public without whispers following him. That's how long it took for Shalnark to find a buyer.

Kurapika was different now; far less fiery, and heartbreakingly quiet. He cried in his sleep. Sometimes full body sobs that Chrollo didn't know how the Omega slept through. Sometimes soft whimpers and mumbled words. Chrollo could feel the distance growing between them, as cold and gut wrenching as he imagined the blade would have been. He didn't want to rush Kurapika into speaking again, and he didn't get close enough to touch the Omega either. There were times when he wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around Kurapika, but the look in his eyes always kept him at bay.

The weather had turned harsh and icy, and hardly a day had passed that week that it hadn't snowed. Kurapika sat with his back against the wall of the bay window, looking out at the expansive yard below him but not truly seeing it. He only realised he was crying by the uncomfortable feeling of tears rolling down his face. After a moment he blinked away the fresh ones and turned to look at Shalnark, who he hadn't realised was there.
"You... hungry?" Shalnark asked, and Kurapika shook his head. The other Omega sighed, sitting on the opposite end of the window. "I know. Just figured I should ask... you, uh... heard the plan?"
Kurapika sighed, leaning his head back against the wall and rolling it to the side, looking out the window again. He nodded.
"Sorry. I'll leave you alone. Did you want me to go get the boss?" Shalnark asked. Kurapika didn't respond, and Shalnark didn't ask again.

"Do you hate it?" Chrollo asked.
Kurapika looked over at him as he walked over, his eyes flashing briefly at the sight of him.
"The plan?" Kurapika asked, his voice still hoarse from disuse. Chrollo shook his head, sitting at Kurapika's feet.

"The snow."

Kurapika looked out at the yard below, then closed his eyes and let the tears fall silently down his face. He let out a shaky sigh, his hands clenching into fists. "I don't."
"I know that when you look at me, you see him." Chrollo said quietly, his gaze falling to the floor. "I won't make you stay with me."
Kurapika was silent for a while. A while that seemed to stretch on into eternity, whittling away at them both until there was nothing left. Then, Kurapika looked at him.
"I don't want to stay here." He whispered, pulling his knees up to his chin and leaning his head on them. "But I want to be with you."
"Kurapika, you don't have to-"
"I know." Kurapika interrupted, then sighed and looked away again. "But you don't either."

Two nights later, Kurapika finally wrapped his arms around Chrollo again. He cried into the Alpha's shoulder, and they kissed to take their minds off of things, if only for a moment.
With the light of morning came the usual burst of fear flooding Kurapika's sleep addled brain. Chrollo's face was always so beautiful once Kurapika processed that it was him and not his uncle. Kurapika's eyes flashed red as Chrollo's opened, and it was obvious that he had seen it; had seen it every morning for the past two months. Had seen it in the moments their eyes met.
Kurapika looked away almost as soon as he realised their eyes had met again.
"Are you hungry?"

"No."

"Do you want me to leave?" Chrollo asked softly. Kurapika didn't answer, and after a moment, Chrollo sat up. He jumped, his eyes widening as Kurapika brushed his fingertips against his shoulder.
"Don't." Kurapika whispered, and the brokenness in his voice cracked Chrollo's heart into a million pieces. Kurapika pulled his hand away, looking down at his lap. "Please. Not this time."
Chrollo turned to him, his eyebrows furrowed and a tear rolling down his face. He let out a soft sigh, turning around and wrapping his arms around Kurapika. He buried his face in Kurapika's neck, closing his eyes tightly and breathing in deeply. His heart filled with such strong emotions he could hardly tell which was most prominent; love, fear, grief.
Kurapika's head was swimming, and he felt like flying and falling all at once. He didn't want to let Chrollo go, but at the same time his heart clenched in apprehension at the prospect of being near him. Chrollo's face was that of a killer when he didn't look close enough. His hands were gentle and warm, but were a stranger's when Kurapika couldn't see him.
Chrollo's uncle was dead.
Kurapika knew, somewhere deep down, that his fear was irrational.

He pulled away from Chrollo's embrace, connecting their lips when Chrollo made to pull away entirely.
"Wait." He whispered, then looked away anxiously. "We're together. Can you...?"
Chrollo looked at Kurapika for a few moments, then leaned down and brushed his lips across the base of Kurapika's neck briefly. "Are you sure? I don't want to hurt-"
"Please do it." Kurapika breathed out, his eyes closed lightly and his cheeks dusted a faint pink.
Chrollo swallowed thickly, nodding slightly and leaning in. His teeth sunk in slowly, Kurapika letting out a brief noise of delight before he cringed away. Chrollo pulled away quickly, cupping Kurapika's cheek softly. He spoke softly, his voice soothing.
"Its okay. I'm here. It's me." He said, leaning in to kiss Kurapika's cheek. "I know it's easy to get lost. I'm here to find you when it happens. Always."
Kurapika leaned into him, wrapping his arms around him.
They sat there for a long time, simply keeping each other grounded.

Winter had emerged in full force by the time they left.
The interior of the carriage was only slightly more welcome than the frigid bite of the wind as it whipped around them. Kurapika rubbed his hands together in an attempt to get warm, looking up quickly as a pair of larger ones enveloped his. Chrollo looked down at him, smiling slightly.
"You ready?" He asked softly. Kurapika nodded, stepping into the carriage and sitting heavily.
"It's freezing out here." Shalnark said, clinging to Uvo as he moved to get in the driver's seat.
"Summer is better travelling weather." Uvo agreed.
Chrollo nodded slightly. "If only we could be afforded such a convenience. Let's head on our way before it gets worse."
Chrollo slid into the seat across from Kurapika, shutting the door and leaning against the seat. Kurapika looked out of the window for a moment, the passing scenery blurring in and out of focus. He didn't look at Chrollo when he spoke. "Thank you."
"For what?" Chrollo asked, an eyebrow raised slightly and his head tilted.
"I didn't want to wait for Spring." Kurapika said simply. He looked over after a moment. Their eyes met, and Kurapika looked away for a moment before making eye contact again. He thought that, perhaps, things were going to get better. Perhaps he would be able to look Chrollo in the eye or let the other pull him close without a second thought. Chrollo smiled and leaned forward a bit.
"Neither did I."

//1222 words.
//this is the end. Look forward to a possible book two, or maybe even a companion book. I really enjoyed writing this, and I hope you guys enjoyed reading it just as much!
//feel free to leave your thoughts and criticism here, as well as any questions.

//hey, hey, everyone! I'm currently working on a book two! Book two will be called 'Promise Rings', and should be out with the first chapter within the week!

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