13. Be Selfish

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Song suggestion: Dream of You by Camila Cabello or You and I by One Direction :)

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I burst through our bedroom door breathing heavily," Lina!"

She looks up startled at my sudden appearance,"Lee, what's wrong!?"

I sit beside her and exclaime frantically,"I- I saw Asher at the tracks... He- he was... was talking to Percy and now I kno- know he knows about me."

My eyes start wellingup,"He knows about me and he is gonna tell everyone about me. Every- everyone is gonna hate me. I am gonna be alone again Lina."

Lina puts a hand on my shoulder but before she could say anything a voice booms from downstairs,"Lee! Where the fuck are you!?Lee!"

I recognise that voice perfectly, it is Percy and he sounds damn angry. I do not want to make him more angry than he already is so I quickly scurry downstairs, Lina following closely behind.

As soon as I step on the last stair Percy yells in my face,"What did I tell you about not uttering a single word of the shit we do!?"

My face morphs into one of confusion," Wha- What are you talking about?"

His lips curl up into a sneer,"I saw Asher at the tracks. How the fuck will he know about it, unless you have opened your damn mouth!"

My brain is going to blast, what is happening?"No, I didn't open my mouth. I thought you were the one who told him about me- me being involved in this."

He laughs humourlessly,"Me!? Do I look stupid to you? I won't tell anyone about what we do."

"And so wouldn't Lee." Lina steps forward,"Asher being at the tracks had nothing to do with you or Lee. Whatever his reason was is none of our concern. So stop finding reasons to bother Lee and leave her the fuck alone. Come on Lee."

She grabs my hand to pull me up the stairs but I do not budge. She looks at me confused, I move my eyes to Percy and ask,"Did you tell Asher about me?"

Percy huffs,"You are so dumb! I am not even gonna answer that."

He turns and goes towards his room, slamming his door shut. I sigh and walk to the couch.

Of course he did not tell him but I just wanted him to confirm it. I am so terrified of Asher finding about it from someone else and him hating me for that.

I take a seat on the couch and look at Lina who is standing in front of me,"I have to tell him. I don't care for whatever reason he is there but he needs to know what he is dealing with, its too dangerous."

Lina sighs,"From what I have heard and seen of Asher, I can tell he is smart and strong enough to take care of himself. And I am sure he knows what he is getting into. You shouldn't worry about that Lee, what you should be worried about is you! I have seen you these past few days you seem more joyous. And I don't want you to loose that."

She sits beside me and says,"Lee just for a instance in your life be selfish. Think about your happiness, and I know at this point of your life it's them. Do what your heart wants, please......... I am going to give you some time to think."

She gets up and walks upstairs. The voice of her footsteps fading away.

Asher doesn't know about my life, he wouldn't know until I tell him. But if I do he will hate me for lying to him. All of them will never speak to me again, I will lose them too. I don't want that to happen. I like being someone's friend, I like having friends. I don't know what's right or wrong. But what I know is not telling the truth is best for me.

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