Chapter Fourteen

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I felt hollow;  hollow as if I would never feel again. I laid on the harsh earth and allowed myself to fall numb to the world around me. The frigid rain no longer felt cold against my exposed skin. I was different now that I had experienced true loss. 

Hours passed before I found the strength to mindlessly pull myself off the ground. Some meek voice in the back of my head convinced me to keep moving. For once I abandoned my stubbornness and chose to listen to that rational force.

The storm quieted by the time I was able to drag myself through the lower plateau of the mountains. The clouds above me were no longer angry, instead the air grew still as a few leftover raindrops danced upon the ground. I wanted to scream. Scream at the top of my lungs "how could you be so cruel!" But I refrained from yelling into nothingness. Even in my weakest moments I knew I must continue to play the game. 

I discovered an area of solace under a rocky cliff and proceeded to arrange a wall of rocks to shield myself from the sight of others. This makeshift cave was nowhere as near as spacious as the previous cave I shared with Olivia in the underbrush of the forest, but it was enough to allow me some time to recover from the day's events.

When I finally composed myself enough to think relatively clearly I channeled my energy into ringing out my soaking wet clothes. The full extent of the battle began to wear down on me as I shook uncontrollably in the cool night. A fire was feasible but too risky to chance so I wrapped myself in my sleeping bag and prayed for the morning sun to rise. 

There was no antidote for my loneliness. I felt it now more than ever; the dread that flooded through my bones and replaced my heart with lead. I did not want to fear, but the feeling of isolation consumed me. I lost the one thing that I had been clutching onto so tightly. I lost Olivia, and I lost hope. She was my closest confidant. I had grown to love her confidence, sarcasm, easygoing and outspoken nature. She was a true companion; a soldier, and I could never repay her for her acts of kindness towards me. I knew that death would eventually separate us but I never could have imagined having her ripped away so suddenly. Olivia was too young, too pure. But then again weren't we all? 

Exhaustion consumed me. Complete and utter exhaustion. I wanted nothing more than to close my eyes and never awake again. Was it too much to sleep for eternity? My eyes drifted shut with my head planted against the dusty floor. I felt an overwhelming pull of warmth despite the freezing temperature and began to worry. Was I experiencing hypothermia? Was I really going to die after fighting so hard to live? 

A soft beeping grabbed my attention and my senses went into overdrive. I squinted into the darkness of the small cave searching for an intruder outside. I was not prepared to fend off any other competitors tonight. If there was a threat I may not survive.

The sound grew closer until I heard a small clink of metal on one of the rocks blocking the cave entrance. My mind was quite sluggish but I eventually made the connection that it was a sponsor parachute and not a tribute preying on me. I lit a match in order to enhance my sight and successfully grabbed the parachute and brought it safely into my cave. A small pang of curiosity tugged at me as I unscrewed the cap.

My hands shook as I revealed the contents of the container. There was a loaf of bread, two apples, three packs of crackers, and most importantly a large bowl of warm chicken noodle soup. I clutched the soup container tightly between my hands clinging onto the feeling of warmth. It was enough to revive me from my feeble state. I wanted to down all of the soup at once but I reminded myself to practice self control. There was one last item I felt in the bottom of the container. Reaching in, I uncovered a note. 

Through the dim light of a match I read the note written in a shaky manner; 'Remember our promise. Keep fighting. -J.' 

My breath caught in my throat and I swear my heart skipped a beat. I closed my eyes and exhaled shakily, running my tired fingers over the paper. Jace. This was the closest I would be to him for a while. I wanted nothing more than to run into his arms right now and tell him how much I needed him. I wanted to tell him that I couldn't stand the idea of being alone. The thought of never seeing him again was unbearable.

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