Sander Sides One shots

The Truth About Remus (Demus)

!TW!: Intrusives Thoughts, Blood, Grore, Panic attacks, Remus/sexual content, Angst, Thoughts about killing, self harm... Seriously, there's a lot of ugly dark thoughts

If you're triggered or bothered by any of this ^^ please skip this chapter! I want all of ya to be safe and take care of yourselfs. 

I hope you enjoy! Please remember to vote if you do!

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(Remus' pov)

It all happened so fast... Dee had just came back from the light sides and... He was leaving me! He told me they liked him and offered him a place with them... And he said I couldn't come! He got really mad when I asked why.

" What Dee?! Why can't I come! hehehe cum-" 

"That's why Remusss~!" He hiss at me. He must be mad.. 

"But Dee you said you wouldn't  leave me like Virge did..."

"Oh please! Do you really think I meant that?"

"No- You don't mean that... Please dee-" 

"It's Janus! My name is Janus! That's what everyone is calling me now."

"Your name....You told them first..."

 "Of course I did! Do you really think I like you? The only reason I put up with you, was because you were the only one here after Virge left! You're a loud mouth who doesn't know when to shut up! You're disgusting! Why can't you just be normal!" 

I ran off after that, crying. It wasn't my fault! He has no idea the shit that runs through my head on a daily basis! It's not like I want to  be the bad guy! I didn't chose to be the twin that has no choice but to think all the bad thoughts. 

Every day it's "how about we kill your twin!" or "let's torture Patton and break him even though I like him the best!" And it doesn't stop! I hate being alone because I'm scared by my own thoughts! What if I actually do the stuff I think of?

Just the thought of it makes me wanna puke... The only way to make it slightly better is to share the thoughts... I'm not a bad guy... I was made this way... I didn't want to be hated by everyone.

De-.... Janus was the only one who would listen to me...I guess I kinda have a crush on him... He left me though. 

Why?

I should kill him by cutting him open with a knife! And then watch his guts pour out!

No. Not him....

But he did hurt me so I should hurt him! I should torture the light sides in front of him! Make him watch his new 'friends' hurt like he hurt me!  

Please! Stop it! Images of me locking him up slowly killing him flash through my mind. I rush to my door and lock it. I can't let myself hurt him!

Kill him! 

No!

Torture him!

Stop! 

Make him pay!

I feel the walls closing in. My breathing is scattered and sallow. 

Push him off a cliff!

"Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" I yell out loud. I clutching my head in my hands. I feel myself start to panic.

Cut off his fingers and make him eat them!