ANNALISE

Chapter 8

-Chapter 8-
Butterflies

Annalise

"Hey" Jules nudged me, hoping to catch my attention.

"Anna?" Jules tapped my arm twice more and I could feel her skin on mine but my brain just decided not to acknowledge it, I could feel her, I could hear her calling my name but I wasn't responding.

I couldn't respond.

"Hello Earth to Anna?" she shook me again, no response.

I could feel my breathing picking up by the minute, it got more uncomforrtable to be around Jules or anyone else for that matter. It was happening again. This always happened.

Why did it have to happen?.

Why couldn't my life just be normal, I wouldn't even mind the mediocrity of it, I just wanted to live. With two healthy parents, who were alive and actually actively cared about me.

At the time it felt like no one cared about me, like I was just another person who's existence meant nothing to anyone and I hated it. I tried not to let it affect me but it did, in so many different ways.

People I barely knew were after me, their intentions unknown and that had me as terrified as I had ever been. After speaking with Eli who constantly reassured me that everything would be fine I went ahead to call my Dad but his number was unavailable, nothing I hadn't expected.

I just hoped he was ok.

We hadn't spoken in so long still, I missed him so much and was still unaware to when he would be coming back. I just needed my dad to hold me, I needed to let him know what was going on, I needed him more than ever and he wasn't here. He was never here.

God, I missed my mom.

She would know exactly what to do.
I imagine what she would have done at this moment, probably scolded me for going out so late at night in the first place and then marched to the police station demanding my safety, then she'd probably tease me for having so many people after me like this.

But she wasn't here.

And I had to learn to accept that.

I was used to doing things on my own, but that didn't mean I was good at it. Even after Elias constantly reassured that I would be fine how could he be so sure? the whole situation chilled me to the core and my already declining mental health couldn't take anymore of it.

I couldn't take anymore of it.

On instinct I instantly reach into my pocket thrashing around for my antidepressant pills, they didn't make me feel better but they supressed whatever feelings this was. And I would rather be forced to feel nothing than experience this any longer.

But then I realize they weren't here, I had left them at home. probably sitting around in one of my drawers from the last time I used them.

I suddenly felt useless and my anxiety heightened more than it already was, I was about to make a complete fool of my self in front of Jules and once she saw how defective I was she would probably want to stay far far away from me. Just like everyone did when they realized how stupid I was.

"Annalise are you okay? I've been hollering your name for like 2 minutes now" My head quickly snapped to Jules as I try my best to compose myself. She had an expression on her face that was anything but endearing, she was most likely freaked out by me if anything. Hopefully I could leave before my anxiety got to a point where even I couldn't tame it.