One by One

What You Left Behind

Izuku Midoriya stared at the door with misty eyes. How long ago was it that he was standing at this same door, his father laughing at the door frame while his mother bowed her head in shame? When Midoriya had all his worldly possessions thrown into a cardboard box and thrusted into his trembling arms? When his father spat out that he didn't deserve the name he was gifted with, that the home Midoriya had spent many nights in wasn't his own anymore? Midoriya felt his heart wither as he reached a hand for the doorknob, the metal cold and frigid after the few days of inactivity. Midoriya pushed the door open, getting hit with the smell of honey and cinnamon, his mother's favorite fragrant? Midoriya stood at the opening, eyes clouding over as he stared at the dusty appliances.

In every nook and cranny of that home, Midoriya had a memory. A lot of them were happy, of him playing with his mother or gushing over quirk society. Midoriya knew a few started out sad, when he felt upset over his bullies or disappointed in himself that he couldn't help the heroes. Very few of them were angry, like when he sat in the hallway only to hear his mother pleading with her husband to come be a respectable father to their son. Midoriya knew every inch of his home like the back of his hand. He spent many lonely nights by the window, wishing on stars. His wish was never for a quirk, but for a friend, because he shouldn't have known his home as well as he did.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Young Midoriya?" Toshinori Yagi said, his soft voice in stark contrast with the jovial tone is counterpart used. Midoriya turned around to see his mentor pulling a cart loaded with empty, folded up cardboard boxes. Midoriya walked towards his mentor in slow, careless movements, the sound of his footfalls resembling a mouse over a human being.

"I'll be alright, All Might. I'm... reminiscing, a bit. After everything that's happened, I suppose I should take this slow, however," Midoriya whispered, afraid to use his loud voice in his sanctuary. There was never a reason to yell when it was him and his mother. Inko knew her son, cared and loved him unconditionally, and Midoriya saw his mother as one of his greatest allies, a hero amongst the common people. They held quiet conversations that never soared into higher decibels. Even with her gone, Midoriya wasn't quite ready to break the sound barrier.

"You're very strong for doing this," Yagi responded, pulling the boxes into the apartment. It was previously decided that Midoriya would handle the bedrooms and bathrooms, the more private areas, while Yagi dealt with the kitchen and living room. If either required assistance, which was no doubt plausible, they could work together and bend the rules they set in place. Midoriya waved a goodbye at his mentor as he grabbed some of the boxes.

He started with his room. He didn't have many things, since Hisashi made him take everything important to Heights Alliance and a lot of his All Might merchandise was sold for Hisashi's profit, but a few items were left behind that Midoriya couldn't exactly leave there. The apartment needed to be cleaned out by that weekend, and Midoriya made a promise to do all the work himself, instead of hiring a cleaning and packing service. Yagi agreed to help, realizing that he couldn't leave Midoriya alone in a troubling situation, especially since Midoriya was so deadset about him being the one to clean the mess instead of burdening others. Aizawa told Yagi that it had to do with closure, and Yagi knew that closure was one of the most important things a person could receive.

Midoriya set the boxes in the living room, labelling them with the kanji of his first name and box, just because he loved stupid but funny things like that. Midoriya ran a finger along the ink, remembering the birthday when his mom first got him a cheesy shirt that had the kanji for "shirt" across the front. It was a time when Midoriya was having trouble reading, and his mom would place sticky notes on their household furniture with the names to help her son learn. Midoriya sighed as he pushed the memory away, a burning guilt bruising his heart as he tried to forget the past.

Midoriya turned around, deciding that he would clean up the bathroom. As he past his mother's bedroom, he stopped, nudging the door open with his foot. He bit his lip as he saw ghosts running around. Most of his memories of that room were of fear and comfort. He would run in, his little child hands pulling at the comforter as he tried to climb onto it. His mother would slowly lean upwards, rubbing sleep out of her eyes. She would smile softly at Midoriya, who would be leaning half on the bed with his legs kicking outwards. She would pull him all the way into her lap, wrapping her warm arms around him. She would kiss his forehead, her thumb wiping the tears off his cheeks. He would begin stuttering about his nightmare, and his mother would nod along as she rocked him in her arms. When he became distraught enough, she would sing softly to him, singing a lullaby in a language Midoriya didn't know, that he later learned was French. She wouldn't even be upset about it, and she would make him breakfast in the morning as she consoled him, saying dreams weren't real.

Midoriya shook his head, closing the door back to hide the painful memories that ran rampant across the broken room. Midoriya closed his eyes, tears filling his eyes as he realized that now, all his nightmares were about losing her again. Midoriya had no one to comfort him, no one to tell him that the world was cruel but that he could be kind enough to change it. Midoriya knew that no amount of kindness could make up for the world. Midoriya wanted the phantom of his mother to tell him that she was alright, that the world was going to be okay. He wanted all his friends to say that they would love him no matter what he did. He wanted his teachers to remind him that he was going places. He wanted Kacchan to look at him with something other than anger.

Izuku Midoriya wanted to be lied to.

Midoriya wiped his eyes, the tears slipping off his palm and down his wrists. The droplets slid across his scars, the product of all his pitiful excuses of hero work. Midoriya turned away, hoping that he wouldn't be lost on his way down memory lane. He closed his eyes, the flashes of memories disappearing. They didn't leave him entirely. A voice sang to him, growing louder and louder the more he tried to ignore it. He slammed his hands over his ears, but the singing didn't fade. If anything, it grew louder as it became all he heard. The notes thrummed, taking on a darker tone as he fought against the overwhelming panic.

His system began to shut down. His lungs froze, his heart growing in tune with the slow paced of the melody. Air slammed into him but he couldn't get his mouth to open. It was locked tight in scream, his eyes open with a crazed look. Midoriya knew that his body has crashed into the ground, but he only felt himself withering around against the floor. He wanted the noise to stop. That's all he wanted.

"Young Midoriya!" Yagi yelled racing towards his young ward. He had his phone, dialing Aizawa's number. Yagi didn't know what was happening, and he knew that Aizawa would be surrounded by others who could call the police if necessary. Aizawa answered after a few dials, and was thrown for a loop when Yagi started yelling about what was happening.

"Calm down! He's panicking, and he doesn't need added stress!" Aizawa shouted through the phone, hopping off the couch. Yamada gave him a look as he paused the TV. The entire room was looking at Aizawa who fumbled for Midoriya's file. He hoped someone had written down how Midoriya specifically calmed down from a panic attack. Aizawa cursed when he realized that no such thing existed. Fuck whoever tried to make the files and decided that knowing a kid's interests was somehow more important than dealing with traumatic stress.

"Get him to breathe, alright? That's pretty universal. Talk to him. I don't know if he likes being touched so maybe ease into it if talking doesn't work. Talk about anything that interests him, but make sure that something either isn't in the house with you or at least in your immediate area. That might set him off again," Aizawa said, squeezing the bridge of his nose as he tried guessing what Midoriya could have been. Yagi nodded, his voice taking over the call as he spoke with Midoriya. Aizawa waited with bated breath, all his kids casting their worried eyes in his direction.