The Distance Between Us (Book Two ✓)

twelve

I turn over in the plush, new mattress Beau bought for us, heart dropping when his side of the bed is empty. Tilting my head, groggy with sleep, I can hear the sound of the shower in the master bathroom, the deep sound of his humming, if I'm really still.

Placing my palm on Beau's side, still warm from where his body slept, I take a moment before joining him so that he doesn't see how emotional I am today. By some cruel twist of fate, Beau leaves for his tour this evening. The thought makes my gut wrench painfully, the ache in my chest growing more acute now that the departure date is finally here.

While the past month has been phenomenal, it doesn't change how bad it will suck when Beau is finally gone. My stomach twists in anxious anticipation already - I'm not sure how long I'll make it without seeing him, touching him, holding him.

Not to mention the dreams I had last night. Nightmares actually, or perhaps flashbacks, from the last time I was with Beau while he toured. Nerves ripple through me, sending a chill up my spine. There's so much on the line - Beau's sobriety, our relationship - and even more that stands in our way. Never mind the lifestyle that tore us apart last time - a new, curvy obstacle with a septum ring lingers in my mind, filling me with ugly envy.

Before I can dwell too much on the negative thoughts bubbling to the surface, I toss my covers to the side and make my way to the bathroom.

Might as well enjoy the time with him that I have left.

***

I shift my weight from foot to foot anxiously, fighting to keep the tears at bay as Rey and Beau triple check that everything they need has been packed. Rocco, former manager of MisFits, and now manager of Beau, and I guess Rey, too, barks orders into his phone while trying to coordinate all of the moving bodies going in and out of the tour bus. No matter how many people scurry about, carrying equipment and bags, I can't focus on what any of them are doing, too focused on my nerves.

"Alright, time to get this show on the road!" Rey has been obnoxiously high spirited, chomping at the bit to get going. Beau makes fun of her easily but she only brushes him off, sending him an adoring smile every time he takes a sarcastic jab at her. "Did y'all ever realize how much sense that phrase makes?" She laughs at her own revelation before heading off on some last minute task without waiting for a reply from anyone else.

Forcing my eyes to meet Beau's, I'm greeted by a sympathetic smile. He lifts his arms to welcome me in and I accept, gratefully leaning my forehead against his chest. His scent tingles my nostrils and I'm once again thankful that he left me a few of his old t-shirts to sleep in.

Knotting the thin black fabric of his cut-off tank top in my fists, I try to melt myself to him - as if the closer I am to him, the longer it'll take for the world to finally tear us apart.

I've tried to be positive and if I'm honest, I'm beyond happy that Beau is back on tour. This is what he loves to do and I love to see him doing it, but I'm scared. Not just for me and my heart, but for him and his.

Blinking back tears, I whisper, "How are we going to do this?"

"Hey," Beau's finger is beneath my chin immediately, tilting my head back to meet his pretty green eyes. "Don't say that."

I barely feel my lip begin to quiver before Beau kisses me, my tears salty on his lips. For that instant, I don't feel nervous - I just want to kiss him forever.