The Distance Between Us (Book Two ✓)

forty

EMMA

I trail my fingers over our initials carved permanently into my childhood book shelf, a tingling numbness running through me. It all felt so good back then, like fate had handed us another chance and things were finally working in our favor. And now, part of us will stay like that forever, etched into the old wood of my parents lake house.

Not for the first time over the past couple of days, I feel a rush of panic, wondering what Beau is doing now. No matter how emotional I was when we last spoke at the hotel, there was no denying that Beau looked seriously unwell.

The last couple of his shows have been cancelled, citing a serious case of the flu. But somewhere deep down, perhaps buried so that I won't perseverate on the thought, I know better. My stomach rolls violently, my body becoming physically sick at the idea that he is out there somewhere, suffering horribly.

Tearing my eyes away from the neat "B.L." etched forever on my bookshelf and my heart, I walk to the center of my childhood room and cross my legs on the floor. Taking in the emptiness around me, I'm suddenly glad I didn't let Beau fill the house with furniture like he had hoped to. It'll be hard enough to figure out what to do with the place, as is.

My phone rings loudly, shattering my quiet suffering. Not recognizing the number, I hold it to my ear reluctantly, speaking at a barely audible level.

"Hello?"

"Emma, oh thank God you answered." Rey's voice is frantic and rushed and I nearly drop my cell to the floor. "We need your help, we-"

"You need my help?" I cock my head to the side, my brain slowly processing the information. When my thoughts finally catch up to the bitter disgust on my tongue, I snap quickly. "How dare you?"

"I know, Emma, trust me I know how this looks." Rey is wobbly and unsure of herself, but I feel no desire to lessen her nerves. "I'm so sorry, okay? I'm so fucking sorry, I really messed up." Her voice cracks and I wonder if she's really crying. "But we can't find Beau and he won't answer any of us. Emma, he... I was... oh, God." She breaks down in pitiful whimpers as I remain silent on my end. "I was drunk, Emma." She finally admits.

As I hear the words, I suddenly make the connection - the red rim around her eyes, the pale skin and dark circles - and I'm not sure how I missed it, having gone through the exact same thing with Beau. I guess I never thought she could be so stupid as to take him down with her, though. My face distorts into a scowl, any shred of respect I had for her completely gone now.

"You were what?" I mutter, positive I couldn't have heard her correctly, as my breath quickens.

"I'd been drinking and I kissed him and I, I think... I think Beau relapsed." She's certainly crying now, sputtering borderline incoherently.

"Of course he did!" I shout at my screen as I rush to my feet but halt at the doorway, unsure where I will even go. There's no where to go - no one knows where Beau is and if he doesn't want to be found, then we're all screwed. "How could you be so stupid? He's an alcoholic, Rey!"

She sniffles weakly. "I know, I'm so... I'm just so sorry."

I shake my head madly, searching my thoughts for any possible solution. The ache in my own heart ebbs, filled with new pain for Beau. There's no way he isn't holed up somewhere now, lured back into the vicious cycle of his addiction. I saw it on his face, the defeat and surrender, and wrapped up in my own frustrations and sadness, I ignored it, needing to take care of myself before I tended to anyone else.