The Kontrabida Series #2: LUMIERRE HELENA YURIKO (COMPLETED)

NINE - CONFESSIONS

"Happy Birthday Lucas!" Sabay-sabay naming bati habang kumakaway sa screen ng ipad ni Kuya Broque.

"Happy birthday bro."

"Happy birthday Kuya Luke."

"Thank you guys." Humalakhak siya, matiim  ang pagkakatingin sa screen. I wonder though, why his room is so dark. Dapat maaga pa doon ngayon dahil alas dose ng gabi dito.

Umalis ako sa kumpol para kumuha ng panibagong inumin sa cooler. Medyo may tama na pero kayang-kaya ko pa. Ni hindi ko pa nga makalimutan yung nangyari kahapon e. I feel like it's imprinted on my brain. Ayaw na ayaw matanggal sa ulo ko kahit anong inom ang gawin ko, or kahit anong distraction.

Huminga ako ng malalim dahil sa naisip. I haven't given myself much time to think today because I'm really trying to distract myself.

Maya-maya, alam kong saken naman tatawag si Kuya Luke kaya ngayon, magpapakasolo muna ako. Magmumuni-muni.

I sat on the sofa not far from where my Kuya's friends are greeting him, and I watched as they tried to get him to come back.

Umingos ako.

Tss. Ako nga na mismong kapatid ay hindi siya mapauwi-uwi, sila pa kaya? They'll fail.  They always do. May lamat ang relationship nina Dad and Kuya Luke so I know, milagro lang ang magpapauwi sa kanya dito sa Pilipinas. Milagro, meaning wala.

I sighed again. Minsan nagtatampo ako sa kanya. Kung paanong naatim niyang iwanan ako dito gayong alam niya naman yung changes sa attitude ni Dad. Minsan feeling ko inabandona niya ako to fend all on my own, kahit ang totoo ay kasama ko naman si mommy.

A single tear escaped my eyes as I think about my brother. How much I damn miss him but all I feel is his absence.

Agad kong pinunasan ang luha ko at saka inilabas ang cellphone.

I opened my facebook and tried to distract myself again. Binuksan ko iyong account ni President at sinubukang mang-stalk. Almost all of his posts are in private though at hindi mo makikita unless magkaibigan kayo.

I composed a message.

Ako:

Accept me now President please.

Ako:

I promise I'll be good.

Ako:

Please please please.

Tapos just to be naughty, lumabas ako sa kwarto kung saan kami naroon saka ako nag-snap ng picture ng veranda.

I edited it and pasted, 'I'm so sad, I wanna jump' and then I sent it to the President. Humahalakhak pa ako dahil sa kalokohang ginawa. It's 12:09 so for sure, naglalakad na namam yun pauwi. Sana lang ay nagnonotify sa kanya yung mga chats ko.

A minute passed and no reply came so I pocketed the phone and put both of my hands on the railing. I inhaled the smog of the city and smiled dejectedly.

Ang lungkot---

I want Kuya Lucas with me, like how we always do every birthday before. Magcecelebrate kami as a family sa kung saan maisipan ni Dad, usually sa beach, tapos magbubuild kami ng campfire.

Dati, the only problem I have was my taut skin, angry for being submerged in salt water all day long.

Dati, ang saya saya tapos parang walang problema. I wonder though, why it all changed? Parang masaya palang, tapos bigla hindi na. Parang okay, tapos nag-snap yung daliri ni Thanos, tapos poof, naglaho yung saya.