Series 1 Epsiode 3: The Unquiet Dead

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"Christmas 1860 happens once, just once and then it's gone, it's finished and it'll never happen again. Except for you. You can go back and see days that are dead and gone. A hundred thousand sunsets ago. No wonder you never stay still."

"Not a bad life."

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"I'm like a ghost condemned to repeat myself for all eternity."

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"I got the flight a bit wrong."

"I don't care."

"It's not 1960, it's 1969."

"I don't care."

"And it's not Naples."

"I don't care."

"It's Cardiff."

"Right."

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"What phantasmagoria is this?"

phantasmagoria
/ˌfantazməˈɡɔːrɪə,ˌfantazməˈɡɒrɪə/
noun
a sequence of real or imaginary images like that seen in a dream.
what happened next was a phantasmagoria of horror and mystery

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"Fantastic."

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"Dickens?"

"Yes."

"Charles Dickens."

"Yes!"

"THE Charles Dickens?"

"Should I remove the gentleman, sir?"

"Charles Dickens. You're brilliant, you are! Completely, 100% brilliant! I've read 'em all! Great expectations, Oliver Twist... the other one - what's the one with the ghosts?"

"A Christmas carol?"

"No, the one with the trains. The Signalman - terrifying. The best short story ever written. You're a genius!"

"You want me to get rid of him sir?"

"Er, No, think he can stay."

"Honestly Charles... er, can I call you Charles? I'm such a big fan."

"Eh... you're a what? A big what?"

"Fan. Number one fan, that's me!"

"How exactly are you a "fan"? In what way do you resemble a means of keeping oneself cool?"

"No, it means fanatic. Mind you, that American bit in Martin Chuzzlewit - what's that about? Was that just padding or what? It was rubbish."

"I thought you said you were my fan?"

"Oh well, if you can't take criticism..."

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