SUMMER BREAK | sakuatsu

fourty four

"here we are! my secret rooftop!" atsumu grinned as he presented the place to sakusa .

"it looks nice tsumu. where do we sit though?" sakusa was wary of sitting on the floor, the thought of all the germs and ants that could touch him made him visibly cringe alone.

"one second.." atsumu ran into a small room that was located at the left corner of the rooftop and took out a green coloured mat, laying it onto the ground gently and sitting on it. he then patted the space next to him and looked up at sakusa,"its okay, this isn't dirty you can sit on it. i wouldn't lie."

sakusa was hesitant but still sat down regardless (after spraying where he sat with disinfectant spray) and passed the latter his drink.

atsumu started a conversation by mentioning the fact the he watched a silent voice to see how sad it really was, and from there, they started bringing up different topics. they didn't force anything and the conversation flew smoothly. atsumu was glad it did and he was happy that sakusa wasn't an awkward person otherwise he would've felt like he would have to carry the conversation.

it had been 45 minutes and sakusa started to feel bad.

sakusa wasn't sick or anything, nor was he annoyed so why did he feel his stomach churning? he turned his face to look at atsumu in the eye, causing the blonde to stop smiling and asking,"omi-kun is everything alright? ya look like yer going to be sick or somethin.."

sakusa weakly smiled before responding,"i'm fine but i think i'll leave now. lets hang out again tomorrow okay?" sakusa rose up to feet. atsumu nodded and waved him a goodbye before watching sakusa turn away and leave him.

—

atsumu: omiomi
atsumu: are you feeling better now?

you: yeah i am..
you: maybe it was the taiyaki😔

atsumu: ohh :<
atsumu: noted that taiyaki isn't good for omikun 😠

you: yeah maybe its not ..
you: thank you though. lets talk later?

atsumu: of course!! bye 💗

—

sakusa loudly sighed before laying down and placing his phone to his right side. he stared at his blank white ceiling as he began to get lost in deep thought. he knew that it wasn't the taiyaki that made him feel poorly but it was just; pure. fucking. guilt.

he realised alot of things while he was talking to atsumu. for one, atsumu talked alot. two, he always listened and three he always had a stupid smirk or smile on his face.

it made sakusa feel so much guilt. he realised that atsumu had nothing but good intentions. even though he made some inappropriate jokes or told too much about his life, heck, atsumu even told sakusa he had sex on the rooftop (which sakusa just responded with "ew, i didn't want to know that.." and secretly hoped atsumu was just lying), he felt horrible about the fact that he had talked badly behind his back.

at the same time he trusted akaashi a lot and he knew that akaashi wouldn't tell atsumu about what he had said, especially if he wasnt fond of the boy himself, but he still felt pure guilt for promising atsumu not to talk bad about him then proceeding to do so.

sakusa spoke to himself in attempt to calm down,"stop stressing out. you don't hate atsumu and he doesn't hate you. you were just annoyed that he was open about something and decided to say bad things. you aren't in the wrong."

but for some reason, telling himself that he wasn't in the wrong made him feel 10 times worse than he already was.