The monster within (A Legends of tomorrow fanfic)

22: Night talk

Lilly's PoV.:

Sara was changed when she came back. I wasn't sure how but she was different. Something in her eyes was not the same. Despite being out for almost three days she got up pretty quickly and started planning our trip back. I think she found her Fate. The thought was spontaneous and I was sure it came from Silly.
"What do you mean?" I thought back at her.
"I mean she had a destiny but she chose er Fate and as it seems the two are different." Sylesia sounded convinced about her theory. I didn't get it though. Sara said something different while answering the questions but she never explained it. Silly left the question there. I couldn't fall asleep so I went out of the cave. Sara chose to stay with the team instead of ultimate power over every person in the universe. That was love on a different level. She was the soul of the team but I never understood how much. I sat down on a rock thinking. She gave me a place in their family. She offered to let me into their ever-growing team of misfits. Silly has already left for a flight when I heard a voice from behind me.
"Can't sleep?" Sara asked before sitting down next to me.
"I can't stop thinking about the decision you made," I told her keeping my eyes up in the sky. "You put down infinite power for your team. That is love I never saw before."
"Is that the only reason?" Sara seemed quite chatty that night and somehow she knew I wasn't only thinking about her decision.
"I don't know," I said. I was looking up at the stars. They were the same stars that I saw for twenty years and yet they were different. Just like Sara. The same person I got to know on that beach, or more like in my lab and yet somehow different. "You offered me a place in it and I'm just not sure I would fit in. I don't think I could make the same sacrifice you did. I..." I didn't know how to explain my doubts.
"You fear that you'll do something to piss us and then we would kick you out," Sara said. She wasn't wrong. I nodded not looking at her. "Rory betrayed us at least twice in the first two years. Snart never wanted to come with us and Ray helped a witch escape a prison. Zari, the original one not the one you know, uploaded a program to Gideon that would help us hack history and I almost got my team killed because I wanted to save my sister. Amaya, the girl who looks exactly like Charlie wanted to kill Rory and came on the ship as a stowaway, Charlie hated us and Astra tried to kill us a couple of times. Gary imprisoned us using a fairy godmother, Ava shot our ship. Rip was simply a dick and Ray let a demon take control of him. I think we still qualified as a team and we never really kicked anyone out." I looked at Sara shocked. I always knew they had problems but everything she just said would get anyone in the AI agency at least kicked out but more like imprisoned. She laughed a little probably because I was so shocked that even my mouth opened. I was looking at the Captain thinking.
"So you think I'd be fitting," I stated that but the question was undeniable in it.
"Well, you did try to kill us," she said jokingly. I hit her arm saying
"That's not fair" I looked out into the distance. I saw Sylesia basically dancing in the air. I stood up and said goodnight to Sara. I laid down outside and fell asleep.

Sara's PoV.:

I was laying restless in the cave. I saw Lilly during the rain of questions and I also saw that she was probably talking to Sylesia. Now she was restless too. I saw her leave but didn't go after her instantly. I wanted to give her space but the more I waited the more my heart raced. I had to help her. She was a member of my team. Even if she didn't feel like it. After five minutes I stood up and went out. I saw Sylesia leaving and I walked up behind Lilly.
"Can't sleep?" I asked sitting down. It was kind of a stupid question but I had to get her attention somehow.
"I can't stop thinking about the decision you made," she said looking longingly at the sky. I felt like I knew why but I was sure that she wasn't telling everything she felt.
"Is that the only reason?" I asked her. I really wanted to help her but she seemed distant as if she was somewhere else in her mind. I could understand it.
"I don't know," she said examining the stars. She seemed to be deep in her thoughts but at least she returned to me. "You offered me a place in it and I'm just not sure I would fit in. I don't think I could make the same sacrifice you did. I..." she stopped. She was afraid. Afraid of getting kicked out though there was a deeper fear in the sentence she said, I decided to focus on the one she mentioned.
"You fear that you'll do something to piss us and then we would kick you out," I said. She nodded not looking at me. "Rory betrayed us at least twice in the first two years. Snart never wanted to come with us and Ray helped a witch escape a prison. Zari, the original one not the one you know, uploaded a program to Gideon that would help us hack history and I almost got my team killed because I wanted to save my sister. Amaya, the girl who looks exactly like Charlie wanted to kill Rory and came on the ship as a stowaway, Charlie hated us and Astra tried to kill us a couple of times. Gary imprisoned us using a fairy godmother, Ava shot our ship. Rip was simply a dick and Ray let a demon take control of him. I think we still qualified as a team and we never really kicked anyone out." I tried to list everything but we have been together for six years it was hard. We had a bumpy start. Lilly was looking at me shocked with her mouth open which made me laugh. People tended to think we were a good team as we worked like a well-oiled machine by then but the truth was that we did have a lot to work out. She was still thinking.
"So you think I'd be fitting" though it sounded like a statement I could hear the question in it.
"Well, you did try to kill us," I said as a joke and it seemed to work. She hit me in the arm but she was laughing.
"That's not fair," she said. After a while, she looked back up. I followed her gaze and finally understood why she couldn't sleep. I saw Sylesia practically dancing in the air. She was happy here and Lilly knew it too. Soon she left to sleep. I stayed on the rock thinking. Destiny and Fate were so different and yet so close to each other. Like the stars. I've seen the stars for decades in my time. Those shining on me were so different and yet the same. I made my decision about my Fate now it was up to Lilly and somehow I felt like I had to help her.