Back To You | Ricky Garcia

Chapter Seven

Ricky's POV

What the hell did I just do? I'm such a jerk for insulting her like that. I've already put her through so much, and I just had to let my stupid mouth hurt her again. I sighed and threw my hands over my face. 

You're an idiot, Ricky. You just lost her, again, before you even got her back. 

I know I didn't deserve someone like Charlene, but these past few days, I couldn't stop thinking about her. I know she infuriates me sometimes, but then I think about how her light brown eyes used to light up when I looked at her a few years ago, and I remember the insane feeling I got in my stomach when I stared into them. Some part of me wanted that back. 

Yesterday, when we were stuck under my bed together, I felt that same giddy feeling in my stomach as I held her in my arms. As much as I teased her about it, I was the one who was regaining my feelings. She hates my guts, and I wouldn't blame her. I hated myself right now too. 

I was sitting on the couch with Evan and Jon towering over me. I still haven't explained what happened yesterday and this morning to them, and they were probably concerned about me. I wasn't usually this stressed out, but when it comes to someone I care about getting hurt, especially when i'm the cause to their pain, I go all out. 

I heard footsteps coming from the stairs, and an angry looking Francesca emerged from the corner.

"What did you do this time?" she questioned, a bit of fury coming from the tone in her voice. She ran up to the couch, and towered me along with Jon and Evan. 

I sighed and hit my forehead repeatedly. 

"Just tell us what happened." Jon said calmly. I looked up at them with my heavy eyes. 

"Okay let me start from the beginning, when we played hide and seek yesterday." I said, recieving three nods from above me,

"I was hiding in the hallway closet, and you two just got caught." I pointed at Evan and Francesca. Jon looked at me with wide eyes and gasped.

"I thought I heard something moving in there!" Jon yelled. Francesca and Evan shot him and look, and he threw his head down. "It's not the time for this, sorry" he said, feeling guilty. I small chuckle escaped my lips. Leave it to Jon to make me feel the slightest bit better. 

"So I ran to my bedroom, and hid under my bed, only to find that Charlene was already hiding there. She shot my unmentionables with her Nerf Gun, and we started arguing with eachother. Then you opened the door, and we both froze. I held her close to me, and she didn't seem to object. She sort-of melted into my chest, and I don't know, it just felt right. Like she belonged in my arms." I said, causing the three to open open their mouths in shock.

"This morning, I snuck up to Francesca's room to wake her up with water balloons, and we ended up chasing each other to the pool. She pushed me in, and I pulled her in with me. Then she said she hated me. I felt a small pang on my chest. I didn't want her to hate me, even if she already did for a few years. We've been acting like this for a while now, but it just didn't feel the same this morning. Her words hurt me. So, it was my instinct to fight back. I kind-of told her that she was nothing without me. That I knew she still had feelings for me, even though in the back of my mind, I knew that the only one who was starting to feel something again was me. Then, she slapped me and told me that any possibility of us becoming friends again was gone." I said, looking down in shame. 

"What the heck, Ricky? You know that you're a sensitive subject for her! You've put her through enough already! Do you not know how much you hurt her in 7th Grade? She stayed up until dawn wondering what she did wrong, if she didn't love you enough! You have no idea how things like this affect girls!" Francesca yelled at me. 

"I agree, that was a pretty bad move. You should never treat a woman like that. She deserves all your respect and loyalty, even if you're not in a relationship her anymore. Charlene's a great girl, and she doesn't deserve crap like that." Evan said sternly.

"Enough! I get it! I screwed up! I don't need you three to tell me how bad of a person I am! I already know, okay?" I screamed, shooting up from the couch. I pushed past them, and ran upstairs to my bedroom. I slapped the door as hard as I could, and crashed onto my bed. 

Anger rushed inside of me. I know I messed up, I don't need my friends to give me a 10 page lecture on my wrong-doings. Them punishing me just pissed me off. But most of all, I was mad at myself. Not only for what I did today, but what i've been doing for the past 4 years. I've been a jerk to her, without even thinking about how I made her feel. She always looked so happy, but I guess a smile can hide a thousand  tears. When Francesca talked about how Charlene felt that spring day, I couldn't help but feel worse about myself. I still regret that day, that stupid kiss was what messed up our friendship.

No, it wasn't the kiss that messed us up, it was me. It was all me.