[ Just imagine ] Changbin-Seungmin

Ch 12. Suspect

Seungmin pov

Changbin seemed unsure for a second and absentmindedly rubbed my thigh. How does such a meaningless and small movement feel so nice when it's from him... Maybe it's something about his hands? Without realizing I picked up his other hand off my hip and looked at it while playing with his fingers. What about you feels so good... The elder squeezed my leg and sighed "during dinner, how often was your smile genuine?"

"W-what?" My eyes widened and I dropped his hand. He looked at the hand on my thigh instead of my face. "Your smile. When was it real?" I started to get up off his lap but he kept me there with one hand on my waist and the other still on my leg. "Don't puppy, you might trip again. It was only a question, you don't HAVE to answer it" the elder's arms tensed when he held me and I subconsciously bit my lip when I felt his muscles. I shook my head.

"I don't know what you're talking about Changbin. Why would I fake a smile when I'm with my friends? Don't make silly things up" I softly laughed but I must admit I was a bit nervous. This random guy I only met a few hours ago noticed that while even Jeongin never mentioned it? I've got to watch out for him... I was caught off guard when a finger touched my left cheek to turn my face towards Changbin. "That's also what I was confused about Minnie, but apparently I was merely imagining it, right?"

I quickly turned away, hopefully in time to prevent him from seeing my red cheeks. "Of course right." After shooting a quick look at the bus screen I sighed. Still 30 minutes to go... I wonder when the man behind us will leave. There's no need to tell Changbin that that man and his friends assaulted me and beat me up two weeks ago. The bus drives over a dump and I let out a soft yelp when I fell down in between Changbin's legs slightly. However the elder just laughs and keeps me from falling by holding onto my legs and.. Uhm.. Lower back.

I got lifted back onto his lap and awkwardly buried my face in my scarf again. Changbin held me until I had to get out. He apparently remembered where I had to get out because he squeezed my thigh and pointed at the screen. "Your stop next puppy. Sure you don't want to come over for a bit?" I smiled and nodded while I unwrapped the scarf and gave it back. "Yes I'm sure binnie. We can hang out together soon though? I'll message you" I hugged him tight one last time and felt his arms through his thick coat.

I let go of him and was about to get out of the bus when I heard someone speak up. "H..hey boy ... Hey boy look here... B.. boy ... Hey aren't you... You're the one fffrom.. A few days ago... Right?" The color disappeared from my face and my breathing quickened while I walked out of the bus "boy! Look at.. At me.. Here... Pretty boy..." He just kept on talking and I wanted to run away while I buried my face deeper in my coat, trying to hide from everything.

I heard a metal sound behind me and hesitantly look around to see the man tightly holding onto one of the metal pipes that are attached to the seats while he slowly moved to the bus's exit. "Sir please don't." I backed away and tried to calm myself and him down. "I don't know who you think I am but I am not and you might want to sit down before the bus starts driving again." For a drunken man he was strangely fast because suddenly he was in front of me with a something sharp and cold against my arm.

I tried to push him away but froze completely when he pressed the knife harder against my arm and his other hand moved to my throat. Goddamn stupid useless body why can't you just move?! My dad is right, I really am worthless.. I can't even fight for myself.. I heard a loud thump and when I opened my eyes all the way I saw how Changbin pushed the man back into the bus. Maybe not the best idea for the other travelers but at least we were safe. A sharp stinging in my upper arm spoiled the lovely surprise of a new wound.

I quickly moved my hand over the ripped part of my coat, which was slowly getting soaked in blood when Changbin moved closer. My eyes widened and I stepped away from him in reflex when he came towards me. "Seungmin.. What are you d-" he slowly reached out for my arm, making me move back further "Don't. Don't come closer. Please. Don't..." I coughed out while I clenched my jaw. "Seungmin, look at me. It's me.. I won't touch you or come closer if you don't want me to hunny..."

My breath was slow and a bit unsteady because of the scare but I calmed down besides that. Apparently Changbin sensed that as well because he took a small step towards me. "Min, it's dark and I can't see you well so I can't judge if we need to go to a hospital with the wound or not..." I shook my head. "It's fine. I'll just go home, it's nothing big. Only a little scratch that's all." The blood that was steadily running through my fingers and down my hand told me otherwise. However, I'm sure it's not that bad.

"Seungmin.. May I come closer?" He carefully asked and didn't move until I nodded. He slowly moved closer until he was in front of me. "That's a strange kind of burning fat and pan, hm puppy?" He looked at me with a sigh and a small smirk, running a hand through his hair. I shrugged and shook my head "You didn't believe me from the moment I told you anyways..." He took one more step and wrapped his arms around me, carefully dodging the wound.

For a moment I froze completely. What is he doing? Why now? Why can't he just leave it as it is? We've only met today, there's no reason for him to care for me. Then I felt my body relax in his hold and before I realized it I had buried my face in his neck and hugged him with one arm while trying to not get blood on him. "Please do not worry about me.." I softly said, my head still on his shoulder.

"If you promise to be honest. If you lie or keep things from me-... your friends, they will eventually find out themselves and get angry, worried and trust you less... Seeing the way they look at you and treat you, they love you and eachother more than anything so please don't lead them on... They, and I, want to care for you and if you hide important things, like an attack, we cannot." He held me tight while he said this. I used every bit of self control I had to not let his words get to me.

They'll get sad if I told them. They'd feel hurt. If I told them now they'd be angry and disappointed... I can't and shouldn't. Changbin has no idea what he's saying, he doesn't know anything about my situation or what's going on. He's just randomly saying things to make me feel better and find out more about it. Why does he want that though?... He's going to make fun of me... He'd mock and hurt me if he knew. The way he looks at me.. As if he can see right through me.. He's dangerous. He'll end up hurting me as well. Just like dad for mom. She taught me nothing ever changes. No matter what you say or do, they'll end up hurting you. I need to get away.

I let go of him and smiled through the pain "thank you so much for helping me but I need to go home. The next bus will be here soon, so I'm sure you'll be okay." I turned around quickly and started walking away. However I heard footsteps next to me within a few seconds. "What are you d.. The bus stop is the other way" I said without looking at the man. I heard the soft crackling of his wintercoat's fabric, indicating that he shrugged. "I know"

"Then why are you here" I looked to the side to see how far away he was. I was about two sideways steps from him and he didn't go closer or further away. "I'm walking you home. You're not going alone, definitely not when hurt like that. You're very good at acting like it's fine, I found out about that today and the first time we met and I'm not letting you trick me again." He casually stated. I shook my head and gripped at my arm again. "You don't have to really, just go to the bus. And I'm not acting, it just isn't a big deal"

He needs to leave. I have to get away from him. It's nothing but a trick to win my trust. This man is not my friend. He's dangerous. Changbin is dangerous. "Perhaps you didn't understand me. I'm walking you home. It's not a question puppy. Whether you like it or not, I'm going to care for you. It's alright if you're going to hate me because of that. I will protect you whenever I can." He repeated in a tone that didn't allow backtalk. There's so many things I wanted to say but they were stuck in my throat.

All I could do was stare at my feet and ignore him. In my head I constantly repeated the same sentence. He's danger. It was something I had to remind myself of to not be misguided. There's no reason for untrue and false hope. I'd be lying to myself if I thought he'd truly be good for me. Felix, Jisung and Jeongin are the only exceptions. They're the only honestly good people I know and can trust. They're my angels.. But I betray and lie to them.. My father is right. No. This is what he wants. He's speaking the truth. I'm worthless. Everyone would be better off if I were dead.

"Minnie? This is your house right? It's completely dark"
I should die. "Puppy?"
It's better for everyone. "Seungmin?"
He's pretending to be worried. "Seungmin?! Can you hear me?!"
That's just the rules of society. "Fuck..."
My bag... What's he doing with my bag.. "Min lean on me okay?"
He's dangerous. "Stay awake Min!"
I should die. "Seungmin I can't lose you now!"
He's lying. "If you can hear me, try to stay awake! I'll call the hospital"
I need to die. "Why not?! Min please! I-.."
I want to die. "FUCKING- SEUNGMIN!!"